


Kindred

by shannyfish



Category: Killjoys (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aneela - Freeform, F/M, Gen, Hullen - Freeform, Khlyen - Freeform, Leith - Freeform, Pregnancy, Qresh, RAC, Season 3, The J - Freeform, The Quad, Timey-Wimey, Westerley, Yala, Yalena Yardeen, green plasma, post 3x05
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-13 14:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 28,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11761737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: Post 3x05.  Aneela has captured Dutch, D'avin, and Johnny.





	1. Dutch: The White Room

**Author's Note:**

> Though this is post 3x05, I've been working on it since before that episode aired and some of my ideas for this story are lining up with what's happened in 3x06 and what looks might be coming in 3x07. Just FYI :)

It was white.

 

Almost blindingly so.

 

She blinked, trying to clear her vision.  It had been blurry at first, but then she rolled her head to the side searching for someone else.  A moment of searching made it clear that she was alone.  No Johnny.  No D'avin.  No guards.  Nothing at all in the room, just light emanating from the walls, floor, and ceiling.  

 

Too much white.

 

It made her eyes hurt as she tried to widen them a bit more.  "Hello?" she called.  It wasn't until the words left her mouth and hit her ears that she realized how weak she sounded.  A stretch of silence filled the white room.  Dutch brought herself up to a sitting position and tried to recall the last thing she remembered.  It hit her, suddenly, images flashing past her like she were flipping through book pages.  They'd been out on a warrant, but it felt like a trap...and suddenly the world was pulled out from around them.  Dutch remembered falling, reaching out for Johnny, and hearing D'avin yell for them both.  

 

The quiet whoosh of the doors opening pulled Dutch's attention immediately and her instant response was to get to her feet.  She didn't know where she was, but ideas were already circling her brain.  She needed to be ready, whether it was friend or foe.  What friend would lock her up?  There really didn't seem to be many friends anymore in the world...not outside of those she knew that she could absolutely trust like the Jaqobis brothers, Pree, Bellus, and even Fancy and Turin.  The person who stared back at her she knew straight off wasn't a friendly.

 

"From the outside, people might think us sisters…"

 

It was surreal.  

 

It wasn't like looking into a mirror.  Dutch knew that D'avin had thought he'd seen her before and she supposed in general they looked alike, but Aneela definitely dressed herself in a specific way.  Aneela looked like she belonged amongst the Nine and perhaps if Dutch hadn't lost her husband...maybe she would look more like Aneela.  One thing she knew for sure, no matter what Khlyen had done to her...she was nothing like Aneela.

 

"But I know the truth," Aneela practically purred.  She was dressed in full white, her long hair done perfectly into a braid.  Her make-up was flawless.  There was a glimmer in her eyes and Dutch was trying to place what it was.  "You have no family--"

 

"I _do_ have a family," she countered, glaring at the other woman.

 

"What?" Aneela questioned with a smile, her voice high pitched and almost sing-song.  "You mean those _precious_ boys?"

 

"If you've--"

 

"Oh, _calm_ yourself."

 

"This is between you and me, Aneela...there's no reason for you to have Johnny or D'avin," Dutch told her, hands balled up.  It was taking everything she had in her not to try to throw a punch.  Aneela was Hullen, though, which meant that her strength was formidable.  It was a fight that Dutch might not win.  In that moment, she knew that she needed to just wait it out.

 

"For now, but I find them entertaining...and the one... _D'avin_...I find him curious…" Aneela told her as she paced about a bit.  "Daddy made him different.  I wonder if there was a purpose in it."

 

"Perhaps it was one that you wouldn't appreciate--"

 

"You mean that he did it to protect _you_?" Aneela questioned coming to a stop.  There was an evil smile on her face and she seemed almost amused by that thought.  

 

"Yes," Dutch responded, her eyes never leaving Aneela's.  

 

"I think you believe that he favored you…"

 

"I didn't say that," Dutch said.  As much as she'd found herself actually missing Khlyen...she didn't think that was true.  "He didn't treat me like a daughter.  He just seemed to want to train me in order to protect myself.  That was all."

 

"It was only because you look like me."

 

"Is that the _only_ reason?  Do we just look the same?  Or is there something _more_ to it?"

 

"What more do you _think_ we have in common?" Aneela challenged.

 

"DNA."

 

Aneela laughed at that.  

 

Dutch was dead serious though and her eyes didn't leave Aneela who seemed more than amused.  "You're a nerd, right?"

 

" _Excuse me_."

 

"You do science," Dutch said.  " _Right?_  I've seen you working in a lab."

 

Aneela got right up in Dutch's face at that moment.  Dutch didn't flinch or even take a step back.  It was clear that this had gotten the other woman's attention.  "How did you see me?"

 

"You didn't think that Khlyen just taught me to kill, _did you_ ?" Dutch taunted.  "He taught me to _survive_ .  He taught me things that I _hated_ him for.  In the end, _this_ is what he was teaching me...how to survive _you_...how to survive the Hullen."

 

"You're not leaving this place unless _I_ will it, _Yalena_ ," Aneela snapped.  Her facial expressions moving from pissed to suddenly amused.  "Yalena Yardeen, a little girl from a house that fell to ruin...put into a harem...and then what?  My daddy took interest in you?  He only did that because you reminded him of _me_ .  It wasn't because you were _special_."

 

"Whatever you say."

 

"He didn't make you Hullen--"

 

"No, but he was planning to," Dutch countered.  In her head, she kept remembering how Khylen had called her 'Little Bird' and wondered if he'd ever given Aneela a nickname.  "He also wanted me to kill you."  
  
"Why?  I'm his daughter."

 

"Because he said that once you found out about me that you'd kill me if I didn't kill you," Dutch explained.  She wondered if the truth would do any good here.  Without Khlyen there, she doubted it.  It was worth a try though.  

 

"Not because we share the same face," Aneela told her.

 

"Then why?"

 

"It would have to be something deeper…"

 

"Like what?"

 

"You said we share DNA, perhaps we'll start there."

 

Dutch didn't know what to think about that.  It would buy her time, the science of it would take time to process and examine, but what did that really do in the long end?  "So until then, I'm a prisoner?"

 

"Such a label," Aneela told her and seemed cheeky about it.  "I haven't tortured you and you have been treated well.  Most wouldn't call that prison."

 

"What do you call it?"

 

"I guess we'll find out soon enough."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


She'd tried to get out of the white room, but she was just alone.  Dutch had told herself that Johnny could have probably figured out the tech in the wall that she'd pulled out and tried to override to open the door to work, but it just wasn't working for her.  So, eventually she'd just sat in the corner and waited.  Her mind turning to hopes that Johnny and D'avin were okay.  Honestly she didn't know what to think.  What would Aneela do to them?  D'avin had a different effect with the green...but not Johnny...so did that make one of them valuable and the other not?  Leaning her head back and upward, she closed her eyes and just prayed to the trees that Aneela hadn't harmed her boys.  

 

Time stretched on.

 

The passage of it was more torturous than anything Aneela could do to her physically.  Eventually, she got up again and started to pace.  The boys were the only thing on her mind, well them and escape.  She had no idea how they were going to get off of Aneela's ship and even less idea of what they'd done to Lucy (if anything).  It was one thing to be isolated, but it was another to be isolated with all kinds of questions for what was going to happen to those she loved.  If she'd been the only one taken, then she'd sit there and just wait...but this was different.  Johnny and D'avin didn't deserve to be involved with Aneela, even though Dutch knew exactly what they'd say to that.  

 

Eventually the doors whooshed open and Aneela entered.  She was dressed differently, though still in white.  She still looked perfectly made up and it just made Dutch wonder more how much time had passed since she'd been in that cell.  

 

"You were right about one thing," Aneela stated.

 

Dutch hadn't expected that.

 

"We do share certain alleles."

 

"What does it mean?"

 

"I'm not certain yet," Aneela told her.  "It's made me curious, though, so for now...you will remain here...as a guest that is confined to this room."

 

"I'm still a prisoner, no matter what label you put on it," Dutch countered.

 

"As you wish," Aneela said in a sing song tone.  

 

"What about D'avin and Johnny?  You could let them go--"

 

" _No_ ," she snapped, but with a smile in place.  Her hands were neatly folded in front of her, perfectly composed.  "I am finding D'avin quite the challenge to figure out...Daddy had to have done something differently with him."  She paused for a moment.  "If I let the other one go, he'll just try to come back and save you both...there's no reason to set him free.  He'll just get himself into trouble."

 

"Sounds about right," Dutch mumbled.  

 

"I could allow him to visit with you for the time, keep you company," Aneela offered.  "Since I will be taking some time to look at what D'avin can do with the green plasma."

 

"If you're just going to leave Johnny all alone, I suppose him keeping me company wouldn't hurt anything," Dutch said.  If Johnny was there, then maybe he could help get them both out.  Or maybe it was too difficult and that was why he hadn't made a move to try to escape yet.  Whatever it was, it would be nice to have him with her and know he was safe.  

 

"Well, he's also a guest," Aneela told her with a smirk before leaving.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Dutch!" Johnny exclaimed the moment the doors opened and they came face to face.  He looked happy and unharmed.  He immediately moved to her, his arms wrapped around her, and they were left alone.  "Oh hells is it good to see you, the actual you and not that creepy looking version."

 

Dutch held him for a long moment, holding onto him tight.  Johnny had always been a comfort.  She just really needed to know that he was okay.  "I'm so relieved that you're really okay," she told him as they separated.  

 

"So, Aneela…" John said as he shoved his thumb in the direction of the now closed door.  "She seems to think that we're all her guests here."

 

"I tried to explain to her that her use of that word wasn't going to cover up the fact that we're all prisoners."

 

"Right?  Where's D'av?"

 

"She's running tests or something on him," Dutch told him.  "I don't think she'll hurt him.  She finds him too fascinating."

 

"And you?"

 

"She's not pleased, but so far...she hasn't done anything except collected samples in order to compare our DNA."

 

"And?"

 

"We share alleles, but she doesn't seem to know what to make from it," Dutch told him.  "I tried to get her to let you go."

 

"Well, that obviously didn't work out," Johnny stated as they sat together.  

 

She smiled in instant response as she shook her head.  "Aneela seems to think that you'd simply become a troublemaker and try to rescue me and D'av."

 

"No idea where she'd get that idea from."

 

"I'm also fairly confidant that she feels like there's no way the two of us can escape from this room."

 

"You'd be right," he told her.  "I tried...whoever designed these ships didn't exactly go the traditional route."

 

"Does that mean that you're useless to me?" she teased with a smile.

 

John placed his hand over his heart and looked like she'd wounded him with just her words alone.  "I don't know whether to be upset over that or to feel like that's your way of challenging me...possibly to electrocute myself in the process."

 

"Just don't die."

 

He laughed at that.  "Oh, just don't die.  It sounds so easy, but you know me."

 

"Oh, I know you, Johnny Jaqobis."

 

And she did.

 

"I suppose we might as well do something to pass the time as we wait for Aneela to do her thing with D'av or decide she just wants to kill us all," Johnny said as he got to his feet.  "You know I sort of thought that our last moments would be more in a blaze of glory--"

 

"Oh, they will...either that or we'll somehow manage to die old and grey…"

 

"Together?"

 

"Are you going to abandon me?" Dutch asked him as she got to her feet, their eyes meeting.

 

"Never."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  



	2. D'avin: The Lab Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this definitely takes place BEFORE 3x08 "Heist, Heist Baby". I sort of had left it open up until that point. :)

"You know as much as you look like her, you don't."

 

"You have feelings for her, don't you?" Aneela asked as she moved towards him.

 

Aneela looked like she could be Dutch's twin, it was unreal to see her in person (the non-green-mind-powers way), but her voice was different...there wasn't the accent that Dutch had, the one that he could listen to all day.  How Aneela spoke was almost child-like.  She knew her crap about science, but she didn't sound like any other geek adult he knew.  Sometimes he felt like Zeph or even Johnny could sound childish, but not like this…

 

"I have feelings about  _ everyone _ ," D'avin told her.  He knew that he could just not be giving a shit about why Aneela was there, but that wasn't going to give them the intel they needed.  There had to be a reason why Aneela and Dutch looked alike and D'avin was going to find out.

 

"I shouldn't feel," Aneela told D'avin as she sat down next to him.

 

They were in some kind of Hullen lab, which was giving D'av all kinds of heebie jeebies feels.  This wasn't just about Dutch, though, this was about their team.  Even more than that, this was about their  _ family _ .  "Because of the green?" he asked.

 

"Yes."

 

"Is that why I'm here and not Dutch or Johnny?"  He didn't miss the quick change in Aneela's expression at the mention of Dutch.  "Because Khlyen tried to make me a Six?  Red 17?"

 

"But you're  _ different _ ," Aneela said in almost a purr.

 

She was interested in that.

 

"I'm all kinds of broken," D'av told her with a dismissive shrug.  

 

"The green perfects or kills."

 

He smirked.  "Maybe I was already perfect enough?"

 

Aneela brightened at that.  "Is that why Daddy choose you?"

 

"Daddy?" D'avin asked.  "Khlyen?"  He wanted Aneela to talk to him, about everything.  It didn't matter if he had pieces from Dutch or a hunch in regards to Aneela, this was his chance to put everything straight.

 

"Yes," Aneela told him with a tilt of her head.  She looked like she was studying him.  "But I think you knew that."

 

"Khlyen wasn't exactly like the Hullen," D'av put out there.  "He wasn't completely cold.  He cared--"

 

"There are two types of green."

 

"Of course there is," he mumbled.  "And let me guess, one makes people into slaves?"

 

"If you chose to use such a term."

 

"But not you two."

 

"No," Aneela told him almost like she was telling a secret to her best friend.  "But I don't think I was made to be Hullen."

 

"Why do you say that?"

 

"You aren't the only broken one," she pointed out quietly.  "The green didn't kill me.  It didn't perfect me.  I feel too much.  I can hear her--"

 

"Hear who?"

 

"The green."

 

Now D'avin was caught off guard by that.  He was certain his face was showing the surprise he felt.  "The green is a woman?  And it talks to you?" he questions slowly, really trying to follow with the crazy that Aneela was spewing.

 

"Yes."

 

"I'll add that to the list of the _ freaky _ things that the green does," D'avin brushed off.  Was he surprised at her statement?  Hells yes.  But was he surprised that the green did things that he'd yet to experience?  No.  Nothing was really surprising in general (at least not for long) for D'av after all the crap he'd been through and seen.

 

"Do you want to know what She says?"

 

"I'm a curious person, but I just might need to pass this time around," D'avin told her.  He had a feeling that he might hear it anyways, but he didn't want to tip her off that he was interested in anything she'd share.  "I have enough nightmares as it is."

 

"Daddy wanted to know."

 

"I'm  _ sure _ he did."

 

"You didn't like him."

 

D'avin felt like this was a tricky question.  It wasn't only because it was Aneela asking it.  They didn't know everything about Khlyen and why he did the things he did.  He'd given his life to save Dutch and had set Fancy and the other now 'cleansed' Killjoys free of the Hullen's hold.  That had to count for something.  "There were things he did that I didn't agree with," he said as diplomatically as he could muster.  Diplomacy and watching the worlds he used had never been his strong suit.  "But there were also things I understood."

 

"Do you know why he protected her?"

 

He let a beat pass before responding.  " _ Her _ ?  Like the green or are we talking about Dutch?"

 

"Her name is Yalena--"

 

"Oh, I know," D'av said.  Apparently Aneela knew too.  "But I call her Dutch."

 

"As you wish," Aneela said before making a hand gesture for him to proceed.

 

"I'm not sure why Khlyen protected Dutch or taught her what he did," D'avin said honestly.  "But I  _ do _ know that everything he did...whether it was right or wrong...messed up or completely wacko...he did it out of a place of caring and concern for her.  That's why he tried to make me a Six, so I could be close to her and still protect her.  Dutch doesn't get close to many people."

 

"Perhaps she and I have more in common than I had thought."

 

Silence stretched out between them.

 

"Can  _ I  _ ask a question?"

 

A beat passed before she gave a nod. 

 

"Do  _ you _ know anything about why Khlyen did what he did?"

 

"Not that I can remember," Aneela told him.  In that moment, he felt like he saw the most truth and innocence exuded from her.  "But not all my memories are here," she said in a near whisper as she tapped the side of her head.  "Daddy took some."

 

"Khlyen took your memories?"

 

"He took them from me...and from the green."

 

"Why would he…" D'avin started, but then remembered that Zeph had talked about finding neurocortex.  Was that what they'd gotten open that Khlyen had hidden?  Could you _ do _ that?  Quite literally take memory slices?  He'd never gotten to actually  _ talk _ to Dutch about what she and Zeph had gone off with Lucy to do, but he'd known that they'd taken the remnant and crap went on.  Dutch hadn't been the same since.  "Look," he said as he looked right at Aneela.  "I know how it feels to have your head...your memories messed with...to have a piece of you taken.  To feel like you're broken and that nothing can ever be done to right that."

 

"How can you know that?"

 

"The army, one of their docs experimented on me--"

 

"Is that what makes  _ you _ different?" Aneela asked as she lit up.  "Is that why you couldn't be effected properly by Red 17?"

 

"I have no idea."

 

''But you  _ can _ affect the plasma?"

 

"And Hullen...though sometimes it ends in eyeballs popping out of heads."

 

"I could see you before--"

 

"Right, that was freaky."

 

"Will you share in the link with me?"

 

He'd been connected to the green before, but last time...the time that Aneela had seen him...that had required some additional brain shocking to get it working.  D'avin wasn't sure if he was up to Aneela trying to figure that out on him.  "My brain isn't quite wired for it," D'av admitted.  After all, if Aneela wanted to figure out how to do it, she certainly could.  He wasn't fooling himself into thinking that he wasn't a prisoner and that this was just some quaint friendly conversation.

 

"I think we can figure it out together."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Their sharing of the green plasma link had been intense.  He'd known what the plasma held, but with Aneela he was flooded with intense emotions and glimpses of memories.  When the connection was severed, it took him a few moments to really breathe and process.  He definitely knew more about Aneela and even Khlyen, but he didn't have any more of a clue about how she was connected to Dutch.

 

"You were hoping for answers."

 

She wasn't wrong.

 

As he stared at Aneela he couldn't help but feel bad for it, it wasn't pity, but rather one child who had a shitty father realizing he was looking at someone with a similar past.  The thing was D'avin  _ knew _ that Khlyen had to have loved Aneela...and he'd even  _ seen _ it.  It was definitely due to missing memories.  

 

"I still don't understand about you and Dutch," he blurted out.

 

"I've compared DNA."

 

"And?"

 

"It doesn't make sense," Aneela told him.  "It shouldn't be possible."

 

He waited.

 

"Yalena Yardeen,  _ Dutch _ as you call her, she's basically  _ me _ ...before I was made Hullen."

 

"How is that even possible?"

 

"I don't know."

 

D'avin knew another thing about Aneela.

 

Aneela was a prisoner on her own ship.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"If she's  _ you _ , then why do you want to kill her?"

 

Aneela was silent.

 

D'av knew from the plasma link that Aneela could be violently unstable.  He was doing his best good-vibrations-calm-monk-thing.  He was hoping that it helped with the current situation.  

 

"It doesn't make sense."

 

It was something Aneela had repeated a few times already.  It wasn't making it go away and it certainly wasn't answering any questions.  "I'm not a nerd, we have Johnny and Zeph for that, but there _ has  _ to be some kind of weird reason, right?" D'avin asked calmly.

 

"She exists, so yes."

 

"How about I help you figure it out?"

 

This seemed to get Aneela's attention.  " _ How? _  You are no scientist.  Your brother is not a biological scientist and I didn't manage to acquire your...Zeph as well."

 

"Let me talk to Dutch, maybe she knows something more."

 

"How could I even  _ believe _ her?"

 

"Believe _ me _ ."

 

"Daddy only trusted you because of her," Aneela said, clear that her anger was starting to rise inside of her.  " _ She's not even his daughter! _ "

 

D'avin was silent for a moment.  He let Aneela have a moment to breathe before speaking again.  "Khlyen's dead--"

 

" _ She killed him! _ "

 

" _ No _ ," he said maybe too firmly.  He had her attention though.  So, he didn't stop.  "He killed himself.  He did it to save Dutch and he cleansed the green plasma pool you had locked away."

 

She was still angry and seething, but she was silent.

 

"Right now, do you really have anything to lose?  I'm offering to help you find your missing memories and figure out how Dutch comes into play with all of this."

 

He had thought it was going well.

 

" _ No _ ."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	3. Johnny: Thicker Than Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit short, but made sense with the POV change and what's to come.

"Don't think that I don't realize that you're keeping things from me."

 

Her eyes moved to his.  "Johnny Jaqobis, do you not _ trust _ me?"

 

"Oh, I trust you with my whole being."

 

" _ But _ ?"

 

"But you don't always tell me  _ everything  _ that I should know...and right now, I  _ know _ that there's something that you're hiding from me...and D'av."  Johnny paused for a moment.  "Hiding it from D'av is all fine and dandy, but hiding it from  _ me _ ?  That's not how this friendship works, I thought we were trying to be all free and clear and transparent when it comes to the truth with the two of us?"  Sure, through the last couple of years they'd had their secrets from each other, but they couldn't do that anymore.  They needed each other like air, like gravity, and in order for their relationship to continue...they needed the truth. 

 

Silence.

 

"Seriously, you're not going to tell me?"

 

Dutch looked away from him, her eyes travelling to the door that they'd been unable to get open.  They'd not even tried to cover up their attempt.  "Not here," she breathed.

 

Johnny didn't know how to take that other than to be worried about what she had to say.  Her eyes were on his again.  He sucked in a deep breath and then blew it out.  He didn't know what she was hiding from him, but it had to be serious if she was afraid that they'd be overheard.  It was certainly possible.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You know, I don't mind us sitting in silence together, but this has gone beyond awkward."

 

He looked over at her, not amused.  

 

"It's flat out awk-weird, Johnny."

 

He couldn't help but smile in response to that comment, though.  "What else can we talk about?"

 

"All kinds of things," Dutch told him.

 

He couldn't not think about the fact that Dutch wasn't telling him something and it was important enough that she couldn't risk telling him with possible ears listening in to their conversation.  That was huge.  

 

"I have a failsafe, you know."

 

"A failsafe?" 

 

"I've had it in place for years," Dutch told him.  "Just in case something were to happen to me."

 

"Do you really think that you'd go down without me right there at your side?" he countered.

 

She smiled at that.  "Valid, but still…"

 

"What is this failsafe?"

 

He was curious.

 

Dutch was quiet for a moment before divulging what she'd just offered to share, like she was rethinking it over.  "You'd have Lucy, of course."

 

"Like she'd go with anyone else."

 

"And you'd have funds."  She paused for a moment.  "Enough funds that you could pay off your family debt.  That you could go home...if you wanted to."

 

He stared at her for a long moment, trying to take that all in.  He and Dutch had been together for nearly a decade and they both knew fairly close to everything about each other.  Not being able to return home had been hard for him.  Everything had felt like it had fallen on his shoulders, though, after D'avin had left him all those years ago.  Johnny had done the best that he could and eventually had to actually think about himself.

 

"You might have a shitty father, but he's still your father and he's still alive," Dutch pointed out.  "And home is always home."

 

Johnny was quiet at first.  " _ Did you hit your head _ ?   _ You _ and Lucy are my home."

 

"What about D'avin?"

 

" _ Sometimes _ ," he said half serious.  "Sometimes he can be an asshole."

 

Dutch shook her head, a smile firmly on her face at that comment.  "He's your brother."

 

"We don't always agree."

 

"True, but he's still family and--"

 

Heavy footfalls could be heard.  It seemed to be the reason why Dutch had stopped talking.  They both looked towards the door.  Marching?  It stopped and it sounded right outside of the door.  Johnny wondered if they were going to finally find out what Aneela wanted.  They waited in silence.  Johnny held his breath as he mentally told them to march on, past them.  

 

They didn't.

 

The doors slid open and the Hullen were immediately inside and swarming to grab them both.  No matter how much he fought, though, he couldn't get free of their hold.  He wouldn't have been so alarmed if they'd maybe said something and they weren't trying to obviously separate him from Dutch.  

 

"You leave him alone!" Dutch shouted as she fought against them.

 

It wasn't something he was used to seeing, someone who could hold Dutch back, but these Hullens they were all super strength bots.  The ones that were holding them seemed like the zombie variety.  He'd noticed that, some were drones and others had free will.  

 

"Time to break up this little reunion for a bit," Aneela said as she came into the room.  She seemed happy and almost too peppy.  Her voice rubbed him the wrong way, it wasn't the lack of accent that he was so used to hearing Dutch use, but it was something else that he couldn't quite put his finger on.  "I need to borrow Yalena."  Aneela's smile quirked more on one side as she looked towards Dutch before she turned and started out of the room.  

 

"Why?" Johnny pressed.  

 

It seemed like it was enough to get her attention because she stopped.  Aneela turned and looked back over at him.  "You really are the _ good  _ one, aren't you?"  Maybe it was more attention than he'd wagered for because Aneela started to move towards him.  

 

"You leave him out of this!" Dutch shouted.

 

He wasn't scared, though.  

 

"Oh,  _ don't worry _ ," Aneela practically purred in Dutch's direction as she paused for just a moment before turning her attention back to him again.  It was so weird staring at her, she had the same face of the woman that he fiercely loved and called his best friend, but she wasn't that person.  "I know he's your  _ favorite _ ...and you already know he's of no value to me for my experiments…"  Aneela looked back over at Dutch and he could see the look on Aneela's face change from amusement to mischevious.  "Unlike you and your D'avin."

 

"No!" John yelled as he fought harder against the Hullen holding onto him.  "You leave them alone!"

 

"See?  He's  _ such _ trouble already," Aneela commented, but her attention was turned to Dutch and not him.  "Perhaps I should just put him out of his misery?"

 

" _ No _ !" Dutch shouted now.  "You leave him be!  You want  _ me _ , not him!  I'll  _ willingly _ do whatever you want!  Submit to whatever testing or experimentation you want!  Just let Johnny be!"

 

That seemed to settle things for Aneela.

 

She didn't seem to care how much screaming or fighting went on on his end now.  They left with Dutch.  Aneela gave him once last glance over her shoulder before she exited and soon the Hullen went quickly behind leaving him alone in the room again.  Johnny was filled with fury and found himself pounding his fists against the door until they bled.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC...


	4. Dutch: Maybe Not

It was white.

 

It was like when she'd awoken before, except this was a different white room...and she wasn't alone.  Not this time. She was strapped down, but she didn't fight it. Dutch had given in to Aneela in order to protect the one that she treasured the most, but that didn't keep her eyes from looking about.  They were in a lab...she assumed it was Aneela's lab. 

 

"You know, this isn't very comfortable," D'avin complained.

 

She strained to try to turn her head so that she could see him, but she couldn't.  Dutch was just thankful that he still sounded like her D'avin. Aneela didn't seem to have done anything to either of her boys, but Dutch didn't know how much longer that would last.  Obviously she wanted something...or she thought she wanted something, but Dutch didn't know how she was going to find it...if Aneela couldn't even make sense of things.

 

"It won't be for much longer," Aneela said.

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

 

"If I put you with your brother, will you two fight?  Shall I put you somewhere quiet be yourself?"

 

In her head, Dutch shorted a sort of picture in her head of what she felt was going on even though she couldn't see them.  "What  _ exactly _ is your lab for?" 

 

"You said you'd cooperate, so cooperate by being silent,  _ Yalena _ ."  Aneela's voice was snarp and sharky,  but it didn't phase Dutch, she still wanted answers.

 

"Why are you doing this?" D'avin asked.

 

"Because I _ want  _ to."

 

"But  _ why _ ?  There has to be a  _ purpose  _ behind it all."

 

A beat passed.

 

"Do you know that he gave her my mother's name?" 

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Yalena Yardeen," Aneela clarified.  "That was  _ my _ mother's name.   _ Why _ would he do that?  Why would he--"

 

"It has to be more than you trying to get back at Khlyen for what he did and what we're never going to be able to get answers for because he's  _ dead _ ," D'av said, he was clearly frustrated and filled with anger now.  "Ah! Seriously?! You can't be more gentle?!"

 

"D'av?!" Dutch shouted out, hoping for some kind of clarification of what was going on.  Instead of an answer from D'av, though, she instead was staring back at Aneela. 

 

"Don't worry about the elder Jaqobis," Aneela told her.  

 

But she still worried.

 

"What have you done to him?!" Dutch demanded.  If she'd at least heard something from him, at least she'd have some solace that he was okay...but she couldn't see him or hear any kind of response...she was at Aneela's mercy to tell her anything.

 

"You get so worked up, it's not good for either of you," Aneela said.  She sounded like a mother chiding her child, her tone changing from snarky to almost soothing.  She just stared down at Dutch, running her fingers through Dutch's hair. "Maybe Daddy hid you away from me because he was worried I would want you for myself."  

 

It was a side to Aneela that confused Dutch, this soft and caring side (but she was prepared for it to not last).  

 

"You know what I always wanted, but could never have?"  

 

Dutch could think of a lot of comebacks to that one, but she thought about D'avin, he'd been trying to talk to Aneela...to coax answers out of her.  So, she remained silent and just listened instead. 

 

"I wanted to be a mother...to have a child...but Hullen cannot have children," Aneela said.  "I wonder if Daddy knew that when he decided to leave Qresh…"

 

"Is that what you do in your lab then?  Try to fix the problem?" Dutch asked, trying her best to keep her tone neutral.  The flip flop of Aneela's emotions hadn't been missed by her. It hit Dutch then that Aneela with her brilliant scientific mind (and twisted surely) could possibly figure out a way for the Hullen to reproduce and then things would get a lot worse.  Right now the Hullen needed humans for their bodies, to act as vessels...but that wouldn't be necessary if Aneela fixed their problem. The Hullen could wipe out the entire population of The Quad or anywhere for that matter and repopulate at their own pace...and enslave any that they needed along the way.  

 

"Why do you think you are here?" Aneela asked, a bright smile tugging up at her lips.  Her tone was pleasant and almost blissful sounding. 

 

"I don't know."

 

"You know something."

 

Dutch wondered if this was all part of how alike the two of them were...how much that Aneela could see within Dutch...Dutch knowing the truth of it all now.  That still struck her so hard. "What would I possibly know that you don't?" She thought about telling Aneela...but how would she take it? Dutch was certain that it would only enrage her and she'd throw it aside (and probably kill them all) without the proof.  Zeph had the proof, it was back on Lucy (and she hoped that they were both far away from where she and the boys currently were). 

 

"I wish I knew…"

 

"You might have, if Khlyen had had his way and had made me a Six like he'd planned," Dutch put out there.  "Then we could just connect through the green."

 

"Do your boys know?" Aneela asked.  

 

"No."

 

"I think you're lying…"  She looked away from Dutch.  "And I feel like the younger would be the easiest to break…"

 

" _ Johnny doesn't know anything _ ."

 

"D'avin then?"

 

"Even  _ if _ I  _ wanted _ to tell you what I know...you wouldn't believe me.  Not without proof. I don't have that with me."

 

"You're right about that," Aneela said as she looked back at Dutch.  "But I also don't think that pursuing your little ship would be worth whatever you're not telling me…  Once I'm done with you and the Jaqobis...it'll have the information that you keep."

 

"They have _ nothing  _ to do with this."

 

Aneela shrugged.  "Maybe, but that doesn't mean that it won't be fun...and I'll have what I want."

 

"What is that?"

 

"You'll see...maybe... _ maybe not _ …"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	5. D'avin: When are we?

"Where are we?"

 

"The better question might be  _ when _ are we," Johnny countered.  

 

D'avin's head was pounding and there was a heavy sheet of exhaustion weighing down on him as he looked around the ship they were in.  It looked like a Hullen ship...a pod of some kind maybe. Johnny seemed fine, but it was the lack of seeing Dutch that sent him into immediate panic.  He stood up and looked around. "John,  _ where _ is she?"

 

Silence was all that answered his query.

 

"Johnny?!"

 

Instead his brother just looked at him, there was a whole mix of emotions in his face.  "D'av, it's been a month since we first disappeared--"

 

"What do you mean a month?"

 

"I think we must have been put in stasis...or they drugged us...but we lost time."

 

"So, there's no telling how far ahead Aneela's ship could be?"

 

"No."

 

"We're not just giving up on her, though--"

 

"Of course, we're not, but we have to link up with Zeph and Lucy...and hopefully Zeph hasn't completely destroyed Lucy in a month," Johnny told him.  

 

"So, let's go…"

 

"I've been waiting for you to wake up," Johnny pointed out.  "This is one ship that I can't drive...and believe me, I tried...so points for me for not being turned into a Six."

 

D'avin stared at his little brother a second, that wasn't something that he'd considered.  He already knew that the Red 17 project didn't work on him, he couldn't be changed into Hullen (unless Aneela figured that workaround out while they'd been unconscious or whatever).  "But did you check?"

 

"What do you mean, did I check?"

 

"I mean, did you _ check _ ."

 

Johnny just stared at him for a long moment and then waved his hands over the controls and nothing happened.  "See? Not Hullen."

 

"Come on, Johnny--"

 

"Seriously?  We're seriously having this conversation when we have no idea where Dutch is?  If they've done anything to her? Hells, who knows what part of space we're even in!"

 

D'avin motioned towards the window they had.  "That looks like Arkyn to me." It had just come into view and it was partially comforting, but then also troubling at the same time.  How far away were they from Dutch now? What had happened that they could have possibly prevented?

 

Johnny turned to look out the window.  "Huh. I suppose it's better that we at least know where we are.  They could have hurled us or left us anywhere." Silence passed and then he turned back to D'avin.  "I don't have a knife. There's some food and water and that's about it."

 

"I could always punch you."

 

"Pass."

 

D'avin didn't push it.  Right now they had bigger things to deal with and he wouldn't forget.  He'd check Johnny out when he could. Right now, their priority had to be finding Lucy and Zeph...and  _ then  _ Dutch.  Although D'avin hated to think that it had to be in that order, the truth of the matter was that they had lost time and they  _ couldn't  _ do this alone.  "Let's go home," D'av said as he took on the controls.

 

"Dutch is home," Johnny said quietly.

 

Looking over briefly at his brother and how absolutely miserable he looked in that moment, D'avin's heart broke a bit more than it already felt.  "I know," he breathed as he looked straight ahead. He was trying not to dwell on any of it because it only made him feel like more of a failure. No matter what Dutch had told him about her connection to Aneela and what it should mean...he wasn't going to give into that.  There had to be another way...and they were going to find it. 

 

"D'av, tell me what you and Dutch are hiding from me."

 

Johnny's voice was quiet and even, but D'avin could feel his brother's eyes on him.  He sucked in a breath and slowly blew it out. This was something that Dutch didn't want to tell Johnny and at the time, he'd agreed even though he hated to.  Right now, it felt like Johnny needed to have all the information...but at the same time, D'avin didn't feel up to the conversation. "I will tell you, but it can wait."

 

"D'av--"

 

He looked over at his brother, a little snap in his voice which he had meant to keep out of it.  "Look John, it's some heavy shit...and I just...I can't right now…" He sucked in a breath and tried to cool himself down a bit first before finally speaking up.  "Just...can we wait until we find Lucy and the geekling?"

 

"Yeah…"

 

As bad as he felt, D'avin was having a hard enough time keeping it together.  He hated keeping secrets, but he just needed the time...he needed the time to figure out his thoughts and feelings...and then organize them so that he could get the job done.  He would be no use to Dutch if he was overly emotional and unable to think clearly. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and looking over at Johnny. "I'm sorry, look...I just...it's Dutch and I need time to just…"

 

"To bottle it up?"

 

"Sure," D'av allowed.  "I just...I need to process this all, but I'm going to tell you.  I promise you, Johnny."

 

"I don't understand why you're keeping stuff from me in the first place."

 

"Dutch wanted to protect you."

 

"Dutch always wants to protect me, she freaking told me that she has a thing set-up for me to have Lucy and all this money if something were to happen to her," Johnny told him.  "Sometimes I think she forgets that I'd rather go down fighting at her side."

 

D'av smiled for a moment because that was definitely Dutch, trying to protect them both.  "The thing is...she loves us. We're the two people closest to her in this messed up universe...and we're the only family she's had any control over protecting."

 

"I still can be irked about it."

 

"That she loves you?"

 

"Don't phrase it like that," Johnny brushed it off.  

 

"How would you like me to phrase it?"

 

"I don't know--"

 

A beeping noise brought their attention to the screen as Zeph's face appeared.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	6. Johnny: Who is Home?

"Oh, Lucy...talk to me, it's been too long since I've heard your gorgeous voice," Johnny said as he and D'avin boarded the ship.  The smile quickly slipped from his face and his arms fell back to his sides when Lucy didn't respond. " _ Luce _ ?"

 

"I turned her off...too annoying," Zeph said as she approached them and then went to hug them both.

 

"Wait... _ you turned off Lucy _ ?"

 

"I mean, not the  _ entire system _ , just her voice."

 

"We've been gone for--"

 

"A month!" 

 

D'av interrupted now.  "Okay, okay...so, it's great that we're all back together again--"

 

"Where's Dutch?" 

 

That brought everything to a full stop silence.  

 

"We don't know," D'avin finally told her quietly and calmly.  "We were being held...and then we woke up in the Hullen ship thing...we realized that we lost time--"

 

"What do you mean, you lost time?"

 

"Like, there's no way that we were held for a month as far as our memories go, but obviously we've been gone for that long," Johnny told her as he pushed past her and headed for the cockpit.  He could hear Zeph and D'avin following him. It was bad enough to not have Dutch with him, he really needed Lucy. Maybe it was stupid, but that ship...the AI...it was his friend and it was also a connection to his life with Dutch.  So, his priority was to get Lucy fully back online and then get to figuring out where Aneela's fleet was.

 

"So they screwed with your brains--"

 

"Or majorly drugged us," D'av offered up from behind.

 

It didn't matter, all that mattered was that they got their acts together.  "Zeph, why don't you fill D'av in on all the crap we've missed out on over the last month and I'll go sweet talk Lucy."

 

"What do you mean sweet talk her?" Zeph asked.  "All you have to do is flip a switch, boy genius."

 

"First of all...it's man genius," Johnny told her quite seriously, though he didn't miss the amused look on his brother's face.  "Second, I gotta sweet talk her so that she won't have you sucked out into space for being so cruel to her."

 

"All she'd talk about was  _ you _ ."

 

"And what is so wrong with that?"

 

Zeph just rolled her eyes.  "Come on, D'avin, I have a lot to tell you."

 

Once Zeph and D'avin were gone, Johnny found his way into his seat in the cockpit and as he looked over at the empty chair beside him.  Dutch should be in it, was all he could think. His hands went to work as he forced himself to focus on the task at hand. He sighed and then looked upward, even though he knew nothing above him would have changed.  "Lucy, you there?"

 

"I am, John," Lucy responded almost immediately.  "It has been thirty-four days since you were last on board.  Where have you been?"

 

"Kidnapped," John told her as he smiled. "I missed you."

 

"I've missed you as well."

 

As much as Dutch was home...so was Lucy...it just didn't feel right without Dutch there though.  He hated how wrong it felt...empty even. "Lucy, we're going to need your help."

 

"You and D'avin have returned without Dutch, is there something I should know, John?"

 

"We're getting her back.  That's all you should know.  We just have to find the Hullen fleet--"

 

"Dutch has left specific protocols in place in the event that she is unable to return or in the event of her death."

 

Johnny had a really hard time hearing those words.  All he could think back to was when Dutch had told him about how she'd put things into place for him...that he'd have Lucy and he'd have money.  Tears pushed forward, but he pushed them back and snuffed instead. He tried to focus on readings and scanning instead. "Yeah, well no special protocol is going to be needed.  She's coming home. We just have to find where they've gone to. Was hoping that maybe we could link into the nav systems of the pod that D'av and I were left in."

 

"You will require D'avin for that."

 

John sighed.  "I know, but I just needed to be with you for a little bit first."

 

"I love you, too, John...but you sitting on your ass talking to me isn't going to find Dutch or the Hullen any faster," Lucy told him.

 

All he could do was huff out a half, "huh" mixed with a laugh.  She was right. Lucy was absolutely right, but that didn't make it any easier.  He just wanted to sit there for one second and pretend that the world made sense.  "Okay, Lucy...let's start scanning for ships and any reports that might give us a lead."

 

"Scanning now…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	7. Dutch: Unexpected

"Dutch.  Come on, open your eyes."

 

"We've got to get out of here--whoa--"

 

"No time, John!  Let's just grab her and get out of here."

 

"I don't know if the grabbing and getting out is going to be as easy as we originally planned--"

 

"Quarter assed plan is better than no plan, right?"

 

"I hate when you use my own words against me."

 

"I learn quick, remember?"

 

Their voices were both vividly right there and yet distant.  It was like being in a dream, but at the same time it felt like she was there...just like a ghost.  Though she felt nothing, she heard everything. The sound of their footfalls, distincinctive as ever, were what she focused on.  When they came to a stop, the breathing was heavier and pushed forward in the soundscape. 

 

"This damn place all looks the same."

 

"Lucy, guide us home."

 

Lucy.

 

Her boys.

 

Home.

 

They were all safe and that was more than enough for Dutch.  Even if she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes to see them for herself, knowing that they were safe and Lucy was there...that they were _ really _ safe.  That was enough.  

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"Dutch, please wake up."

 

It was more than a request, it was plea.  It sounded desperate and heartbroken. 

 

"Please.  I'm trying to be strong for them, but--but I can't do it alone."

 

He wasn't alone, she knew that.  She also knew what he meant. Dutch knew that she was partially responsible for that feeling on him, they'd been partners...their relationship was vastly different than her relationship with Johnny.  It wasn't just the romantic or the sexual feelings that they had for each other...they were both soldiers and had the same need to protect those that were under their care (that meant Johnny and Zeph).  Although he really wasn't physically alone, he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders...and he didn't have her to share the weight.

 

"I'm here," she voiced, weak and barely a whisper.  

 

It was like with her pushing those words from her own mouth had lifted the haze that had held her back from the world before.  She felt the hold on her hand tighten as she opened her eyes to the harsh bright lights. Lips pressing to her hand as she focused on him sitting there next to her.  Dutch tried her best to give him a reassuring smile, but she felt so heavy and she weighed down by exhaustion even though she couldn't remember the last time she'd been awake.  

 

" _ Dutch _ ," he whispered back, full of emotion.

 

She blinked rapidly, trying to focus his worried face.  "You're okay? John--"

 

"Johnny, Zeph, and Lucy are all fine," D'avin assured immediately.  

 

" _ You _ , D'av," she pushed.  Dutch needed to hear it from him.  She was still groggy and the exhaustion wasn't wavering like she'd hoped.

 

"I'm fine," he told her.  "I just...I'm glad we got you out of there."

 

"What happened?"

 

"I don't know...but Johnny and I woke up without you and we'd lost time."

 

"Lost time?"

 

"We're still not sure about that," D'avin admitted.  

 

"What are you sure about?"

 

"Aneela was using you," D'avin told her.  He took her hand before moving it down to her stomach.

 

What was normally flat was now raised and round.  She gasped at the change in her body and pulled her hand back ever so much, D'avin's hand there kept it from going too far.  Her mind spun as she took in her current state and started to push herself up.

 

"Hey, hey...not too fast."

 

"So, I lost time too."

 

D'avin nodded.  "But not several months...it hasn't been that long."

 

"D'av, how long has it been?"

 

"We've looked for you for a month...and when Johnny and I woke up...we realized it had been a month since the three of us had last been on Lucy."

 

"Two months," she said, mostly to herself as she sat there.  Her hands were pressed down into the bed and she just focused on D'avin's words...words that felt so far fetched.  It didn't feel like two months. "This is what she wanted...a child," Dutch whispered. She was very much in shock over the whole thing, but she knew that she couldn't stay that way.  

 

"I'm starting to wonder if this was what Aneela wanted," D'av put out there.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because Johnny and I were talking about how it was too easy," he admitted.  "Maybe she wanted us to come and get you...to protect you."

 

"She doesn't even like me--"

 

"But she wants that baby…"

 

Dutch's mind raced even more as her own questions seemed to be answered as she really thought about it, trying to keep a clear mind.  She was silent for a long moment as she stared at D'avin. They were an unlikely pair...they'd only met because D'avin had been a warrant (and Johnny had thought he could hide it or take care of it without her).  They'd clashed a little at first, but that had quickly changed and there had been a bond between the two of them...it was more than lust or love. It was something that didn't have a word. " _ Our baby _ ," Dutch said.  A beat passed, a long one.  "It has to be  _ our _ baby, right?"

 

It didn't get past her how that seemed to surprise him when it seemed so obvious to her.  "I--I didn't even think about who could be the father," he admitted. It was clear that he hadn't.  There was a clear look of shock on his face as that thought sunk in. "I just...I was only concerned about getting you out of there...off that ship...safe back with us…"  The look on his face turned to heartbreak. 

 

Turning herself until her feet dropped over the side and she was better able to keep her balance sitting upright, Dutch just stared at him.  They'd come so far over these last few years. She reached out her arms and wrapped them around him and he accepted, their bodies embracing even with the slight division between the two of them.  Dutch found herself clinging to him like her life depended on it. For so long, it was Johnny who had helped anchor her life but at one point that had swapped to D'avin. It wasn't that she loved Johnny more or depended on him in her life any less...he was very much her heart and a large part of her soul (he'd saved her from the life she'd been trying so desperately to escape from).  "And you did," she finally whispered as she just held him...and he held her. Her eyes squeezed shut and she just thought about a single time when the two of them were happy together. There were many moments, but in this...she only needed a single one. It wasn't of one where they were in bed together or even an intimate moment that they shared alone...no, it was one of them out in the field together as Killjoys.  Opening her eyes, she pulled back and held his face between her hands. Her words were thick with emotion. "I love you, you know that, right?"

 

He was trying to be so strong, she could see that.  It was something that they had in common. They were too strong for their own good, really, and it was hard to let their walls down.  D'avin nodded, his face screwed up like he was trying to hold back his emotions but tears fell from his eyes just the same. "I love you," he breathed.  A bit of time passed between them, silence only filling it before D'av spoke up again. "What do we do now?"

 

"Well, one thing's for sure...they're not getting what they want...but that still doesn't mean our mission changes…" Dutch told him gently, her eyes never leaving his.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	8. D'avin: Hard Choices

Dutch had gone up to the cockpit to sit with Johnny, he could vaguely hear them talking...it was the sound of their voices but not the actual words they were saying.  All D'avin could do was think about not only that he was going to be father...but that this was some elaborate plan by Aneela to take the child away. Hullen couldn't have children of their own, he got that...and he knew that there were things that Aneela didn't know...things that Khlyen had locked away.  

 

He sucked in a breath.

 

Khlyen.

 

All he could think now was looking back at all the times they'd crossed paths with Khlyen.  The man's objective had been to protect Dutch...from Aneela...and he'd gone so far as to try to make D'avin a Six in order to do it.  Did he blame the guy? No. If anything, he felt like he understood him even more now. He was a man trying to do his best to protect his family in the only way he could think to.

 

"Lucy, do you think you can do something for me without telling Johnny and Dutch?" he spoke aloud, looking upward even though he knew it didn't matter where he looked while talking to the sassy ship.

 

"It depends on the request."

 

That was fair.

 

"We need to do some things to protect Dutch."

 

"Johnny also wants to protect Dutch."

 

He nodded.  Lucy was absolutely right. They all wanted to keep each other safe, even Zeph had figured out how that worked out on their little team.  "But Johnny won't make the hard calls, Luce."

 

"I think you'd be surprised at what Johnny would risk for her, if you'd give him the option," the quiet voice spoke up.  Zeph appeared a moment later out of the shadows, concern was all over her face. 

 

"You're right," D'avin told her.  "Maybe I just don't want him to do it...I don't want him to feel the guilt or beat himself over what is going to have to happen."

 

"What can I do to help?"

 

"We have to call in back-up," D'avin told her.

 

"What kind of back-up?"

 

"It's time for you to meet more of the family, Zeph."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"So, we've got your step one in play...what's the next step?" 

 

D'avin looked over at Zeph, he'd purposely taken their little plotting meeting to the opposite side of the ship in order to keep it all a secret but also to give Johnny and Dutch their privacy in their talks.  With what was going to happen, he knew that that moment between the two of them was precious...and as much as he'd love to crash it and let it be the three of them...he knew that he needed to take steps to keep Dutch and their child safe.

 

Their child.

 

It was still a concept that he was still trying to grasp.  

 

"Short of resurrecting people?  I think we're going to have to take a dangerous step in order to get a solid foothold when it comes to the Hullen."

 

"What people need resurrecting?" Zeph questioned.  

 

It felt like that list was just too long, but he started with the ones on his mind first.  "Pawter… Alvis… Khlyen…"

 

"I thought Khlyen was the bad guy?"

 

"I mean, I'm not going to say you're exactly wrong...but I think he was more misunderstood looking back on things than I would have said after I joined this team," D'avin admitted.  He knew that Zeph knew some of the things that Dutch had seen...but she didn't know everything. As nice as it would be for everyone to know everything that had happened, that was in play, and that was going on...some things just had to be kept a secret if not absolutely needing to be known.  

 

"So...short of being able to resurrect people, what's the next step?" 

 

"Figure out where Aneela's fleet and any other Hullen ships might be," D'avin told her.  "We need to be ready and we need to know what the map looks like."

 

"What about the RAC?"

 

"That's in the cards...just way down the line."

 

"Like how far down?" Zeph asked in confusion.  "Because we need more back-up than you've already sent messages to."

 

"Zeph, haven't you learned to trust us yet?"

 

Zeph tilted her head to the side a bit.  "I'm not saying I don't trust you…"

 

D'avin shook his head and smiled, she was definitely thinking about her issue of trust at the moment though.  He could feel it. There was a huge unsureness within her. "Look, we were gone for a short while and you held down the fort... _ relatively _ well."

 

"Is that what we're calling it?" Lucy spoke up in full sass mode.

 

"Not time to start a fight, Lucy," he said as he watched Zeph glare in the direction of the ceiling.  It probably didn't help Zeph at all that Lucy favored Johnny over everyone else...even Dutch. Right now they needed everyone on the same page and working together in whatever was closest to harmony with the circumstances.  "We need to all work together...for Dutch."

 

"Can we at least keep her from turning me off this time?" 

 

It wasn't an uncalled for request.  It wasn't like Zeph had really hurt Lucy by basically muting her, but she hadn't made things any easier when they'd gotten back.  "Yeah, maybe we can talk to Johnny about rewriting programming or something."

 

"Hey," Zeph complained.

 

"It's not that I don't trust you, Zeph," D'avin told her, turning his attention back to Zeph.  "It's just that I'd rather...the family not fight amongst itself." It was the best way that he could put it in those moments.  "We need Lucy just as much as we need you and Johnny to make this all work." A beat passed. " _ This has to work _ , Zeph."  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	9. Johnny: The Plan No One Wants

"I've missed this."

 

Johnny smiled over at her, he knew exactly what she was talking about...because that's exactly what he'd been thinking since the moment they'd started talking there in the cockpit.  "Me too."

 

"I mean, I don't remember the time loss...but it still feels like too long," Dutch told him.

 

"Well, I  _ do _ remember being sick with worry about where you were...and if anything had been done to you," Johnny said.  "And there were times I'd sit in here and try to talk to you...and Lucy just got confused." 

 

"I bet you didn't expect to come to my rescue and find me in such a state."

 

"That's about the last thing I could have possibly imagined, to be honest," Johnny admitted.  He and Dutch had been Killjoying for some time and they'd never talked about either of them having a future with kids (family as it was had been just the two of them and their fellow Killjoys).  Things had changed...and some things had changed a shit ton unexpectedly. "Don't take this the wrong way, though, Dutch...I think you'd make a great mom."

 

"Yeah, I've had so much practice," she replied with a shake of her head and her didn't miss the rolling eyes.

 

He smirked.  "You've had me and D'av."  She laughed at that and he loved the sound of it.  "Seriously, though...I stand by my statement."

 

They were just quiet sitting there together for a few moments before they both seemed to notice the same thing at the same time.  "Lucy, why the hells have we changed directions?" John and Dutch asked at the same time.

 

"Where are we  _ going _ ?" John added.

 

No response.

 

"Lucy?"

 

"I told her to change course," D'avin spoke up as he entered the cockpit behind them.  They both turned towards him. 

 

"Explain," Dutch said, clearly not pleased.

 

"We need a plan...and we need our people here...all of them," D'avin said.  "We need the people who would give their lives for ours...and whom we'd trust."  He paused. "This isn't just about our fight against the Hullen any more...this is about so much more."

 

"The Hullen are  _ still  _ the mission," Johnny said.  He could see the emotion on D'av's face and at the same time, he was certain that there were layers of emotions that his brother was trying to supress.  After all, he'd just found out that he was going to be a father. With everything that had happened and everything that had been going on in The Quad...it was understandable.  That didn't, however, change the fact that they were a team.

 

"Dutch and the baby come first."

 

And there it was.

 

And D'avin wasn't wrong.

 

He was just the first one to say it out loud.  

 

"D'av, I'll be fine," Dutch insisted quickly.  

 

"For how long?" D'av countered.

 

Johnny found himself torn because he didn't want Dutch away again but at the same time all he could think was that was what needed to happen.  "We were saying that this whole thing might be a shitty trap." He and D'av had been discussing it right before Dutch had woken up, but now...now all he'd been concerned about was how pleased he was to have his best friend back.  "If Aneela comes back for you...for that baby, then you're not the only one who's put into danger."

 

It was clear that Dutch was getting increasingly upset over what he'd said and he wasn't surprised.  Pregnancy was insanely new to Dutch and she was clearly quite far along. "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that I can't still kick ass and take care of myself and this child."

 

"I meant...D'av, Zeph, and myself...but yeah...you and the baby are still two beings that we have to keep safe."  

 

"I have a plan and you're both probably going to hate it," D'avin spoke up and then both looked into his direction.  "I'm not a big fan of it, but I know it's the one plan that doesn't leave us open for a full on shit storm that leads to us basically handing you back over to Aneela and the Hullen."

 

"Where are we going, D'av?" Dutch asked quietly and it was clear that she was worried.

 

Dutch was always one who lived to be in control, so this was probably hard on her to have to let someone else do the planning and say what was going to happen (especially when it involved her).  Johnny waited, though, he knew that if what his brother was saying was true...then this was going to suck...a lot.

 

"We've got to go pick up some family," D'av told her.  "First stop, Leith."

 

"D'av, what exactly is this plan?"

 

"We've got to split up."

 

"No."

 

"Dutch, how many times have Johnny and I trusted you?" D'avin asked, his voice extremely serious and yet laced with emotion.  "This time... _ this time you have to trust us _ ."

 

"I've always trusted you both--"

 

"But this time, it matters more than  _ ever _ ," Johnny added quietly.  "D'av's right. You have to trust us."

 

"Do you know the plan?" Dutch asked him.

 

Johnny shook his head.  "But I know that D'av and his heart when it comes to you.  I trust him."

 

Silence filled the cockpit.  They were both waiting for Dutch to say something else.  Johnny wished that he could read D'av's mind in that moment just so he could know what the hells was going to happen...what his play was.  Nevertheless, that was what they were doing...because even though it was nice for them to have that moment, him and Dutch, the Hullen were still out there and they were all targets.

 

"Tell me," Dutch finally whispered.

 

"The war with the Hullen has to continue...because in the last two months, they've only advanced their forces and taken out more of ours," D'avin started.  "We need every small victory we can get...and we need to do more...to use more of the resources we have in order to keep our people safe and the Quad--"

 

"Out with it D'av!"

 

Johnny looked between Dutch and D'avin, he'd obviously been holding off onto going into detail about his plan because he'd already stated that it wasn't something that any of them were going to be one hundred percent behind.  He found himself holding his breath as he waited for D'av to spit it out.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

  
TBC…

  
  



	10. Johnny: This isn't goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I just now realized this chapter should have been in Dutch's POV...and rather than re-writing this chapter and adjusting the POV...we're just going to go with it since I've already started the next chapter with Dutch's POV and I think it that honestly it'll work out better because the look you get in the next chapter.

 

"No."

 

"Hey," Johnny said as he pulled her into a hug.  She clung to him, not wanting to let him go. "It's going to be okay," he whispered as his hand smoothed her hair as he held her.  It was always hard for them to separate and go their own ways...they'd been each other's anchor. The last time he'd gone away was after Pawter...he'd not wanted to bring down trouble on Dutch and D'avin because he'd 'killed' Delle Seyah...but he'd also needed the space.  Things were different, he needed to push her into going because she needed to stay safe. "It's only going to be for a little bit."

 

"Maybe you should come with, Blue Eyes," came the suggestion.

 

Johnny had certainly thought about it.  Dutch was the last one who needed to be fussed over and as much as she was all about the mission...their family always came first.  He couldn't leave D'avin. He felt like he was choosing as he thought about that...and he would normally always choose Dutch. Not this time.  He couldn't. 

 

"No," she whispered as she pulled back from him.  He held tight to her arms, staring at her even though she was looking downward.  

 

"Dutch--"

 

"It's going to be fine, you're right," she said as she looked up at him, tears in her eyes.  Feelings were not something that frequently came out between the three of them...and there was always this acknowledgement that they could just pretend that it never happened.  "You need to be here with D'av and Zeph."

 

"You say the word--"

 

"I know," she said and she was clearly pressing a smile forward in that moment.  "I just...I just got back to you guys."

 

And he felt the same way.

 

They'd just all been reunited and now they were tearing the team apart again.  

 

"Where will you go?" Johnny asked Bellus, whom they'd picked up from Leith.  Probably if it had been any other Killjoy, Bellus wouldn't think to do what she was doing for Dutch...but it  _ was _ Dutch.  There was some comfort in knowing that Dutch would be in good hands...and familiar ones at that.  

 

"Better that you don't know...just in case," Bellus told him.

 

"There's a ship waiting for you on Westerley," D'avin said.  

 

"Can I say goodbye to Pree while we're there?" Dutch asked.  

 

"No need," Bellus said.  "He'll be joining us. There's no way I'm going to be able to tolerate your hormonal shit on my own...someone's going to have to help me on that front."

 

He felt even better in that moment, but he'd rather that he or D'avin were also going with her.  He looked back at his brother and realized that it had to be just as difficult for him...maybe moreso.  The list of people they knew that they could trust was a lot smaller than any of them would like. "So, that's the plan?  Dutch goes into hiding with Bellus and Pree? You, me, and Zeph go out after the Hullen on Lucy?"

 

"Fancy's going to be meeting up with us, too," D'avin said.  "And then we'll figure out the rest."

 

"Time to go, Dutch," Bellus prompted.

 

It was clear that this was too much for Dutch, it was something unexpected and it was just as hard on them.  She'd packed a small bag and hadn't known what was going to happen...and now they were splitting up and it felt like the worst thing in the world.  He watched as she turned to D'avin, trying to wear a brave face. Johnny could see right through it. 

 

"Promise me that you'll look out for each other," Dutch asked of D'avin.

 

"I promise," D'avin replied, obviously trying just as hard.  

 

She hugged him tight and John noticed that it took his brother a moment to wrap his arms around her.  Was he just so in shock? Was he trying to distance himself? Johnny knew that D'avin had been shouldering too much, just like Dutch always did.  They both always felt the need to protect him even when he could take care of himself...and could help them shoulder things as well. 

 

"Try not to be such a pain in the ass for Bellus and Pree...and I promise that we'll be back together as soon as it's safe," D'avin told her.  

 

"Be quick," Dutch whispered as she pulled back to stare at D'av before kissing him.  "Be good."

 

"Tap my heart."

 

When Dutch moved away from D'av, Johnny found himself pulled into another hug.  He held her and tried not to get any more worked up than he already felt. She needed to go...she didn't need to worry about them.  They'd be okay. "Be safe."

 

She pulled back and cupped his cheek with one hand.  "I love you, Johnny Jaqobis. I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

 

"You're going to have to put up with my bright personality," Bellus quipped.

 

There was a small rumble of laughter.  "I love you, Yalena Yardeen," Johnny said.  It wasn't often that any of them used Dutch's name...the name that she'd given up.  It felt right. "And we'll be right back to get you once it's safe."

 

"And we've got the protocols in place, right?" D'av asked and it was clear that this was to Bellus.

 

"Believe me, they'll be there and I hope that I don't have to wait a long ass time to hear from you," Bellus stated.

 

"Go," Johnny said as he guided Dutch towards Bellus.  It was going to be hard for her to leave no matter what.  D'av was definitely right, this plan sucked...none of them liked it...but it was the right one and it was necessary.  

 

"Lucy, keep an eye on our boys for me," Dutch said.

 

"Always," Lucy replied.

 

They watched Dutch and Bellus get into the smaller ship before the airlock closed.  Johnny didn't know how much time would pass until he saw them again, but he already missed Dutch.  He snuffed and pushed the tears that were falling away. He hated being strong, especially when it came to Dutch.  This was one of the few times where they needed to protect her and it felt so wrong that their way of protecting her had to be to basically give her up to someone else and not be able to do anything to actively protect her.  

 

"Johnny?" D'av spoke up after a few minutes.

 

"I'm fine," he lied.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

He turned to his brother, trying to be calm and to bottle his emotion.  "Why are you sorry? Your plan sucked, but it was what needed to happen…"

 

"You should have gone with her."

 

"No," Johnny said firmly.  "I couldn't leave you. As much as I wanted to go with Dutch, I'll make the biggest difference helping you win the war.  That means my place is right here." He paused and stared at D'avin. "I know it couldn't have been easy for you to let her go either."

 

"Are we really going to share our feelings?"

 

"Why do you have to be such a dick?" Johnny asked, thankful that D'av had lightened the mood.  He shook his head, but he wasn't sincere in his words or his tone. 

 

"Consistency."

 

"Well, I guess I'll give you that then."

 

"Hokk?"

 

"I thought we were going to go over our next move?"

 

"Our next move is to get drunk while we let Zeph figure things out."

 

Johnny decided he really wasn't going to argue with that.  "Okay."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	11. Dutch: Out of Sorts

"I know it's not a resort or anything, but things aren't  _ that  _ bad."

 

This was the third time they'd moved in the last two weeks.  It was actually the nicest place they'd been in so far, but that wasn't why she was in a mood.  She was homesick...homesick for Lucy...and homesick for her boys. "It's great, Pree," she responded, not looking at him, trying to muster some semblance of contentment.  

 

"Bitch, you better remember who you're talking to."

 

He saw right through her.

 

Between him and Bellus, there was no getting away with anything.  If Bellus was tough on her, then Pree was there to smooth things over.  She wondered if this was what Johnny felt like when she and D'av kept things from him and tried to protect him at every turn.  Pree sat down on the bed next to her, his hand covered hers, and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry I'm being so--"

 

"Don't you dare apologize," Pree told her.  "Don't think that I know you'd rather be out there with Johnny and D'av."

 

"I love you, Pree, you know that."

 

"I do."

 

"I just...I'm not used to being the one who doesn't have any control."

 

"Oh, Honey... _ we know _ ."

 

Dutch smiled at that.  "When do I get to start blaming things on hormones?"

 

"Two weeks ago."

 

She actually laughed at that.

 

"I've missed that."

 

She sucked in a breath and blew it out, the smile still on her face.  She felt almost guilty for being happy in that moment. "How long do you think it'll be?"

 

"Until you pop or until they call for us?"

 

"Both...actually."  

 

In all honesty, no one had any idea how far along she was.  She was obvious months along, but she also hid it well. Bellus had kept going on about how Dutch might have felt like she was the size of Lucy, but that in reality she was tiny compared to other pregnant women that Bellus had seen in the bazaar on Leith.  She wasn't sure how to feel about that, but it was just another thing that Dutch didn't know and it sucked.

 

"Bellus and I were talking about seeing if we could round up a doctor tomorrow," Pree told her.  "This place looks fairly decent. It's just going about it and making sure that they're not compromised."

 

"You mean Hullen."

 

"I mean Hullen and I mean shady with an agenda," Pree corrected.  "So, you can be sure that one of us will be ensuring that your doctor bleeds tomorrow before they can even get in the same room as you."  He paused. "As for the other...I don't know… It all depends on Bellus' gut apparently. Of course, if we keep moving it makes it harder to be found...but at the same time...moving so much can get us caught.  It's one of those fine lines that we have to toe."

 

Dutch just nodded and was silent for a long moment.  "All I can think about is that if Pawter were here--"

 

"Oh, Red…" Pree breathed, clearly caught up with emotions.  "I miss her. Every single day. Some days I'll look to the stairs and half expect her to walk down from her room.  She might have been born on Qresh, but she was one of us."

 

"She was."

 

"And Johnny...I imagine it would have been perhaps slightly easier to let you go if he knew that Pawter was with you."

 

"He might have been more willing to come along as well," Dutch put out there.  She was trying to think happy thoughts of Pawter instead of sad ones. They might have not gotten along at first, but Pawter was a good person...and she'd loved Johnny.

 

"She would have told him that he needed to stay with D'av, watch over him because you wouldn't be able to," Pree said with a shake of his head.  

 

"You think they're okay?"

 

"I think they're arguing...and probably yelling...and drinking Hokk...and missing the hells out of you," Pree said.  He paused for a long moment. "Yeah, they're okay." They were both quiet for a while, but Pree broke the silence as he stared at her.  "Are  _ you  _ okay?"

 

"I'm scared."

 

"With those boys on your ship...I would be too...they probably don't pick up after themselves."

 

"I've trained them better than that," she responded, her mood lightening for a moment before turning serious again.  "But that's not what I meant… I'm scared about the baby…"

 

"It's a baby…"

 

"What if it's not?  What if it's some kind of Hullen experiment?"

 

Pree seemed caught off guard by this.  He was calm, though, when he finally responded.  "Sweets, we are going to find you a doctor...and we're going to get every single question answered before you're any further along…  I don't want you to worry…"

 

"I can't not worry."

 

"Try."

 

She just stared at him.  "I hate not knowing what she did to me, Pree.  Did she just really get me pregnant with D'av's baby or did she do something else?  You weren't in that lab. You haven't met her special crazy--" 

 

"Whoa...whoa...okay," Pree said as he held onto her arms.  "Okay, I get it. I'm just saying...try to relax until we can get you that doc.  Bellus is going to make sure that it's someone we'll be able to trust--"

 

"Or someone disposable that's good for the short term."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC...


	12. D'avin: Mood

"I'm just putting this out there...a little less gun happy."

 

"Really?" D'av asked as he cocked his head to the side slightly.

 

"Look, I don't know if this is about you finding out about Delle Seyah having your baby and...oh by the way, it's a girl...here it is?" 

 

"You know...you're an asshole, Fancy."

 

"I keep telling you guys I'm the _ designated  _ one and you all keep on ignoring that fact," Fancy shot back.  "It's actually rather  _ insulting  _ that you honestly think that anyone could be more of asshole than me."

 

"Have you  _ met _ Delle Seyah?" Johnny brought up.

 

"She's from Qresh--"

 

"He has a point, John," D'av spoke up.  

 

It had been months since he'd seen Dutch and he was starting to feel like every day he was getting more and more pissed.  It wasn't just not having her around to anchor him and balance him and push him to keep on board with a purpose...it was all the questions he had.  Johnny tried to ground him, but he was too easy to push back against. D'avin was wondering if Fancy's assholery was his way of trying to fill that void, but it just ended up in them doing a lot of talking of who was really the bigger asshole.  Though, it was nice to have another person on their ship that had the talent and technique of being a Killjoy that Fancy had. Johnny was good and all, but Fancy was better when it came to the nitty gritty hard decisions in the field.

 

"So, where to today?" Fancy asked after a few moments of silence.  That or D'avin had just missed an entire conversation (which he felt like wasn't something uncommon nowadays, he'd get lost in his own thoughts when they were on Lucy and it wasn't a time where he had to lead).  

 

"Leith for a tip," Johnny spoke up.

 

"I'm--I'm going to just go read or something for a bit," D'avin said, not looking at either of them and just trying to process his own words.  He motioned in the direction of quarters on the ship and left before anyone could say anything more. He heard Johnny and Fancy talking as he left, but their voices felt like they were distant even though he heard every single word and knew that they were talking about him.

 

"He knows how to read?" 

 

"It's sort of annoying.  I swear he  _ likes _ to read manuals."

 

"I would have guessed that was you."

 

"And they call me the nerd."

 

"You're still the nerd."

 

Sometimes he felt adrift or just detached.  It was something that he locked down when they were out on the chase or in the field.  It was something that he saved for when they were home. He missed her and he thought about her all of the time.  Everything reminded him of her. The ship. Johnny. Their goddamn mission. It was all about her... _ for her _ .  He wasn't angry, though.  If anything, D'avin was sad.  No matter if they had Fancy Lee, it wasn't the same.  Maybe Killjoying as a trio wasn't the ideal number, but when they had their shit together...he knew that he, Dutch, and Johnny were absolutely amazing as a team.  Fancy would never be able to take Dutch's spot on their team...and neither he nor Johnny wanted that. Right now, it was just how it was because that was how it had to be.  You adapted and made it work when you had to...and right now they had to. D'avin was over having to adapt to crap. 

 

He wanted Dutch.

 

He wanted her home.

 

He wanted to know that she was okay.

 

He wanted to know that the baby was okay.

 

He wanted their lives to be some semblance of normal (whatever that was when you were a Killjoy, he still wasn't entirely sure what that looked like).  

 

"Lucy, can you starting the recording?" D'avin asked as he settled on the edge of his bed. 

 

"Would you like me to save this one for Dutch with the others?" Lucy asked brightly.  

 

"Yes."

 

"Recording started."

 

This was something that he'd started to do everyday, sometimes multiple times during the day.  Maybe it was stupid, but it made him feel better. It made him feel like he got to talk to her, even if she didn't talk back.  He at least could imagine her sitting there and listening. "So, today we ran across Aneela and Delle Seyah," D'avin started. "It's not the first time since you left, of course...but it's my fault that we didn't complete our mission.  I don't think Johnny or Fancy even realize that I just couldn't do it…" He felt guilty, but at the same time...he didn't. It wasn't because seeing Aneela had reminded him of Dutch...it wasn't even because of them just being better than them because they were Hullen...it was because of something else.  "I saw her...and I just froze...I holstered my gun and they even stopped to come up to me." D'av roughly rubbed his face with the palms of his hands and just pushed out a breath as he tried to steady his words.

 

"Her name is Caspara...Delle Seyah apparently calls her Cassie."  He looked upwards at the ceiling and tried to really focus on a thought of Dutch sitting there next to him.  "She was so small...and all I could see was you… Dark hair and green eyes. And then Aneela asked me about you...and our baby...and all I could do was stand there and just tell them to go."  He sighed. "I just couldn't risk the baby. She's an innocent in all of this. She didn't ask to be brought into this world...or this war… She's my daughter, Dutch," he managed to get out as his voice broke.  He'd tried his best not to think about it. Wanting to be a father was not something that he'd ever thought about in the last decade, but seeing her...and know that Dutch had been pregnant with their child...it had just brought a swirl of emotions down on him.  "I just wanted to hold her and promise her that everything was going to be okay...and then all I could think about was you and our child… Caspara was old enough that I feel like you had to have already had our child. I wonder if you're both safe and healthy. I wonder when I'll see you next.  I wonder if we have a son or a daughter. I wonder if they look just like Caspara...and I wonder what name you gave our child." Tears are flooding his face and he just buries his face in his hands. "I wonder if I'd even be a good dad...Johnny and I had a shitty one, you know about that. I know Khlyen wasn't the best for you growing up.  I want so much more for our child."

 

He broke down and just let the tears fall, the sobs escape his chest and lips, and he forgot for a while that he'd even been recording the message to Dutch.  He thought about Dutch and he felt like such a failure because of it. He knew when he came up with the plan to send Dutch away that they'd all hate it. D'av still hated his own plan.  There wasn't even a protocol where he could contact them. Right now, he just wanted to hear one message from her...just her voice...to know that they were okay.

 

"Lucy, end recording."

 

"Recoding ended."

 

"Can you delete that last part, Lucy?"

 

"I can play back the message--"

 

"No," he said quickly, not sure that he could actually bring himself to listen to everything he'd just said.  He was still completely torn up and the feels were definitely on a high. D'av hated feeling that way. He didn't need his own recording to remind him of that and rekindle those feelings.  

 

"D'avin, I miss her too."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	13. Johnny: The Crazy as Hells Plan

"You okay?"

 

He already knew the answer to that.

 

He knew his brother.

 

"Yeah."

 

That wasn't it.

 

That was a lie.

 

"Like for real okay?  Fancy's on the RAC with Zeph.  It's just me, you, and Luce."

 

D'avin didn't answer and Johnny knew that it was just his brother's way of being strong for them...for him.  Dutch and D'av were always protecting him from shit that he didn't need to be sheltered from. He wasn't twelve.  Instead of bringing this up, though, because Johnny knew it wasn't something that his brother needed to hear, he just sat down next to him on the couch.  

 

"Dutch is okay."

 

That caught his attention.  His brother turned to him now.  "How can you be so sure?"

 

"It's Dutch."

 

"John--"

 

"Look, I know it probably sounds stupid, but I would know if something had happened to her," Johnny told him.  "I bet you would too." He poked his brother in the chest. "You know this feely place that you and Dutch like to avoid...you'd know deep down inside because we're all connected, D'av."

 

"I want to believe that."

 

"Believe it," Johnny told him.  They were both quiet and Johnny knew that it wasn't just Dutch's absence that was weighing on him.  "Caspara's your daughter...and you haven't really talked about that."

 

"What's there to talk about?  Aneela looks just like Dutch...and so does that baby...and she's sort of evil...and then there's Delle Seyah...it's like the magic duo of evil decided to make a baby that just happens to be mine.  I can't exactly walk in there and ask to see Caspara. She wouldn't even know who I was, if I could even hold her…"

 

"I know we didn't have the greatest childhood...and neither did Dutch," Johnny said.  "We're going to make Caspara does."

 

"In this war?"

 

"This war has got to end.  You and I both know that."

 

"Do you have some kind of new plan?"

 

"Actually, I sort of do," John admitted.  "It's a plan that's hells crazy, but what do we really have to lose at this point?"

 

"Tell me."

 

"You know the needle thing that Zeph worked up with the memories?" John asked.  

 

"Yeah."

 

"We capture Aneela and Delle Seyah...and hopefully they have Caspara.  We inject Aneela with the memories. She has to like not be such a stone cold bitch then, right?  She's like Dutch's mom...or sister...or clone...or something...but she wanted baby Dutch...she wanted the best for her.  She's got to have feelings for her."

 

"Are you trying to tell me that you want to flip Aneela onto our side?"

 

Johnny shrugged.  "And we haven't even gotten to the insane part."

 

"If it's something about how we're all going to live in this communal house on Leith with Aneela, Delle Seyah, and Caspara...you can just stop there."

 

"Ew, no."  Johnny shook his head.  "So...Aneela pulled her younger self from a memory and created baby Dutch, right?"

 

"I guess."

 

"So, what if Aneela could go into the green and pull another ally back into the land of the living?"

 

"What?

 

"Khlyen."

 

"Whoa...wait…"

 

"I mean, I don't know if she could even do it, but imagine if we had them both on our side…"

 

"You mean how screwed up it would be when Dutch finally comes home?"

 

Johnny sighed.  "Think about it, D'av."  He tapped his brother's temple.  "We're using this now." He paused as D'av glared at him.  "Who else know so much about the Hullen that we could ever even imagine to take on as allies?"

 

"No one."

 

"Khlyen and Aneela have been behind the lines...and Delle Seyah is going to go wherever Aneela goes...so, why not try to make them allies?"

 

"What if it doesn't work?"

 

"Then we're as screwed as we are today."

 

"Comforting."

 

"I was thinking...consistent...but…sure."  Johnny shrugged and waited to see if D'avin had anything else to say.  He knew it was crazy. He knew it was a long shot. Sometimes that was all they had.  

 

"I guess it beats doing nothing."

 

"Maybe we shouldn't take Fancy this go around," Johnny suggested.  "Take Zeph because of her bio science...but let Fancy stay at the RAC with Turin."

 

"Agreed."

 

"We go today?"

 

"You sure about this plan?"

 

"Nope."

 

"Awesome.  I'm in."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

  
TBC...


	14. Dutch: Coming Home

"I don't know if I can do this."

 

"You're the strongest person I have ever met, Dutch.  Don't think that I go around using that term with anyone else," Bellus told her firmly.  "You can do this. You  _ have  _ to do this.  Think about those boys...they're probably getting shit done during the day and crying their eyes out without you there."

 

Dutch smiled at that.  "I doubt that."

 

"They need you.  You've been caged up whenever we've moved and you're young...it's not easy for you to stay hidden and to be idle.  A little easier when I'm a little older than you."

 

"What if--"

 

"We're going to be fine here.  Pree's man is going to be meeting up with us right before we make our next move.  Your precious little one will be kept safe while you're out there kicking ass and saving the Quad."

 

"What if something happens and you need me?"

 

"I'll figure out how to get into contact don't you worry."

 

She couldn't' help but worry.  All she'd been thinking about for months was getting out of wherever they were hiding, to kick ass and shoot the bad guys.  Now that she was practically being shoved out the door into it, she felt grief consuming her whole. "If something happens--"

 

"Nothing's going to happen to you or those boys," Bellus countered.  "But if the unimaginable happens, you know that your little one will be so spoiled...Pree and Gared would see to it…"

 

"Not too much spoiling."

 

"Just the right amount, I promise--"

 

"And the name."

 

"I know."

 

Pree was in the other room.  She'd already said her goodbyes to her friend and her little one.  This was the hardest thing she'd experienced in her life so far...which she felt a bit ridiculous about.  Who knew that your life could become so connected to something so small and so new to the world. She'd always imagined that if anyone was going to have a child...it would have been Johnny and Pawter...but that chance had been taken away.  She'd not thought she'd be good at being a mother, but she loved it...but her heart was also somewhere else...which was why she had to go now. 

 

"Thank you, Bellus," she said as she hugged the older woman.  

 

"Getting soft on me, girl.  Must be those hormones still teetering out of balance."

 

Dutch beamed and let out a soft laugh as she pulled back from Bellus.  "Must be."

 

"Be safe."

 

"Or be good?"

 

"Be both," Bellus told her.  "Time to go home."

 

And it was time.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Getting back to Lucy wasn't as easy as it could have been.  She had been outside of the Quad, which was their plan...to slowly move their way out of the Quad and through the J to some place where her child could be safe from the eyes of Aneela and the Hullen.  It had taken her longer than her sanity really could handle, but she found Lucy docked on Westerley...she imagined that they were supplying or something along those lines. 

 

"Welcome back, Dutch.  Shall I announce your arrival home?" 

 

She smiled, it was so good to hear Lucy's voice.  "No, Lucy, it's okay."

 

"You have one hundred and eighty-six messages waiting for you.  Would you like me to start playing them in chronological order now?"

 

Dutch blinked at that information.  "No. Not right now. Later."

 

"Okay."

 

Placing her hand on the strap of her bag, she adjusted it so it sat better on her shoulder.  She moved towards the quarters of the ship quietly. As much as she wanted to see her boys, she was overwhelmed with emotions...of how much she missed them...and how excited she was to see them...how ready she was to kick Hullen as...but then how much she missed her little one.  They'd sent her away to keep her safe...and now she was back. She went to enter her quarters, but stopped mid step inside when she found D'avin asleep on her bed. Dutch hadn't expected that, but at the same time...she wasn't surprised. When Johnny had gone with Clara, she'd gone into his room to try to cheer herself up and keep from missing him (it never worked, but it made you feel the slightest bit better).  

 

Setting her bag down off to the side, she walked in quietly and to the side of the bed so that she could really look at him.  She knew better than to sit on the bed next to him, he had reflexes like hers and she didn't want to spook him. This was normally the time that D'avin looked at peace, not always...but most of the time.  She'd missed it. Dutch started to leave, not wanting to wake him but she froze when she heard him shift. She turned back to see him staring at her now.

 

"Dutch?"

 

"Hi."

 

"Is it really you?"

 

She turned fully and moved slowly back towards her bed.  "Yes. It was time for me to come home," she explained. "I've sat out of this fight long enough…"  Dutch sat on the edge of the bed now as he sat up, his hand reaching out towards her. She smiled, took his hand and pressed it to her cheek.  "I'm _ really  _ here."

 

"What about--"

 

"Just me."

 

He sat up fully and Dutch could see questions flash across his eyes.  As much as she didn't want to go into it all now, at the same time...he deserved answers.  "Are you okay?"

 

"Yes, though it's weird being back."

 

"Where's Johnny?"

 

"Johnny is off the ship," Lucy piped up.

 

"Where the hells are we?"

 

"Old Town, Westerley."

 

"Didn't you know?" Dutch asked as she quickly took in how confused D'avin looked.  "I figured you were resupplying or something."

 

"Something," D'avin replied.  "We were supposed to be leaving for a mission from the RAC station...Westerley wasn't on the list of to-dos before that."

 

"Are you complaining?" she asked with a smile.  

 

"Not that you're back, absolutely not," D'avin replied brightly without missing a beat.  

 

It was still there in his eyes, he wanted to ask her but he wasn't, that was absolutely clear to Dutch.  "I know you have questions...and you want answers, but if something happens--"

 

"You're trying to keep people safe."

 

Dutch took his hands into hers and scooted closer.  "I'm trying to keep  _ our  _ child safe."  

 

D'avin just nodded and didn't look at her at first.  "I won't lie, I have been wondering about you and our child...boy or girl...what they look like...what name you gave him or her."

 

"They're all things I want to tell you...and I wish I could introduce you, but I swear our child is in good hands and they're safe."  It was so hard not to just break down and tell him everything. She'd thought about telling him for months and she was fairly sure that no matter the gender of her child that D'avin would be happy and excited and that he'd really be a good father.  No matter how screwed up their respective childhoods were...D'av would be such a good dad. "I'm sorry. This isn't the way that this should be."

 

"No, it's not...for either of us."

 

They couldn't dwell on it, she knew that.  "What's been keeping you going?"

 

"Seeing you again."

 

D'av--"

 

"It has to be the three of us to make this team work, Dutch," he told her.  "If it's only two of us, we're missing something...and I've been feeling that hard."

 

"Okay," she said with a nod.  She knew what he meant and he was right.  When it had just be the two of them, it hadn't been the same without Johnny there.  When it had been just her and Johnny, they'd needed D'av to be to their fullest potential.  "So tell me what the mission is."

 

"It's Johnny's crazy ass plan."

 

"Tell me."

 

"Johnny wants to make Aneela and Delle Seyah our allies in this war," D'avin told her.

 

For a moment she thought about asking him to repeat himself, but she knew that she'd actually absorbed what he'd actually said.  She was just in denial about it. "What?"

 

"The baby that Delle Seyah was carrying...the one that's got my DNA...I've seen her a few times and I just keep wondering...and I think Johnny's worried," D'av said.  "He thought that the memories that Zeph had put into the syringe would make Aneela have feelings for you and want to be on our side…"

 

"If it were that easy--"

 

"That's not even the entire plan, just wait for this one…"

 

So, she waited.

 

"Johnny says that if Aneela was able to pull baby her out of a memory to make baby you then she should be able to pull Khlyen from a memory too."

 

"Khlyen?" she breathed.  There was a mix of feelings that floated through her head.  Although so much had been revealed about her past and origins...Dutch couldn't keep the mixed feelings away.  Maybe it was because she had a child now and rather than training that child up to fight the Hullen like Khlyen had with her, she'd sent her little one away with friends who would ensure safety and a good life.  

 

"It's all kind of weird, even if Aneela would even do it--"

 

"You'd think she'd have figured that out by now if she could."

 

"But if she doesn't remember pulling you from the green, then maybe she doesn't remember she has that power," D'avin pointed out.

 

"You think this is a good plan?"

 

"I think it's a plan."

 

"But?"

 

"But I think that Johnny brought it up for selfish reasons for me."

 

"What reasons?"

 

"Caspara," D'av said as he looked at her.  "The child that Delle Seyah had."

 

"You have a daughter," Dutch said, trying to be happy because she felt like that was what D'avin wanted to be, but he was unsure.  When he looked confused, she gave a vague gesture. "Caspara."

 

"Yes, though I don't think Delle Seyah would appreciate me referring to her as such."

 

"She can just get over herself."

 

"But I think that's why Johnny is trying to do all of this...so that I can see her more," D'avin said.  "But that doesn't help our child…"

 

"No...but yes," Dutch said.  "Johnny's right about Aneela and Khlyen being allies...huge allies against  the Hullen if we could make it happen. I just don't know about the whole bringing Khlyen out of the green part…"

 

"So, does this mean you're on board?"

 

"Well, I'm here," she offered with a smile.  "And I'm not going anywhere...and from the picture that Bellus painted...I was supposed to find you both crying in your bunks or something."

 

"That sounds about accurate."

 

She punched his arm.  "Liar."

 

"Okay, seventy-five percent accurate...and the rest is me pretending to be a badass when I just miss the hells out of you."

 

"D'av!  You won't believe what I found!" came Johnny's voice from another section of the ship.

 

"You won't believe what I found either!" D'avin called back.  

 

Dutch turned her attention in the direction of the doorway.  When Johnny finally appeared, she just smiled at him. "Hi."

 

And then everything that Johnny was carrying was suddenly on the floor.

 

"Dutch, what the hells?!" Johnny finally exclaimed after a far too long moment.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	15. D'avin: Stay

D'avin had sort of stayed in the room, but given Dutch and Johnny some space so that they could catch up.  He didn't mind just being there. Maybe it was just because Dutch and Johnny's relationship was something special and D'avin was even a bit jealous, it wasn't the same as the relationship he held with Dutch...but he was okay with that.  The happiness in the room was certainly contagious and he was just happy to hear them talking back and forth about everything that had happened on either side of things over the last several months. 

 

"We should probably let you sleep," Johnny said.  

 

He'd been leaning against the door frame, but he straightened up and nodded.  "Yeah, we really should."

 

"D'av, will you stay for a minute?" Dutch requested.

 

Johnny looked between the two of them and got up after Dutch pressed a kiss to his temple.  "Good night." He got up and headed out of the room.

 

D'avin stepped further into the room and stopped when Dutch motioned to the bag on the floor, he picked it up without a word and set it on the bed with her.  "Johnny's right, I'm sure you're tired."

 

"I'm exhausted," Dutch admitted and then tapped the bed, so he sat.  "But I realized that I have something that's not fair that I keep from you.  I'm already keeping enough." She opened the bag and rifled through it for a moment before pulling out a very loved stuffed bunny.  "Pree got two of these and we kept swapping them out...so when it was time for me to leave, I brought this one." She held it out to D'avin.

 

He took it without a second thought, his fingers taking in the soft material and the texture of it.  He just smiled as he held it, thinking about a baby loving on it and the stupid things that adults no doubt did to entertain a child with it.

 

"It smells like our child...and probably me, too, but I thought maybe you'd like to have it," Dutch said.

 

"I think that you were probably given this so you'd miss our baby a little less," he said as he handed it back to her.  "You're so used to having her...or him...with you."

 

Dutch smiled at that and took the bunny back, holding it to her chest.  "Do you care? If it's a boy or a girl? Now that you Caspara...sort of."

 

"No.  I just am happy to know that our daughter or son is safe and healthy."

 

"I promise that's the case."

 

"I know."

 

Silence passed between them and D'av got up and turned to go.  He didn't want to overstay and he didn't want things to get weird.  He was also half surprised that Johnny hadn't made any comments about them not being left alone together, but he likely knew that it would be a sore spot at the moment.  

 

"Don't go."

 

He turned back to her.  "Dutch--"

 

"Just stay...for a little bit," she whispered.  "I'll tell you things without telling you things."

 

D'avin smiled at that.  He  _ did _ want to hear about their child, but at the same time...he knew that she was protecting the child's identity for a good reason and telling him anything might accidentally give something away.  "I want to, but you're right about keeping information away from me for now."

 

"Can I tell you whose eyes he or she has?"

 

He moved to sit on the edge of the bed.  "Okay, but I'm hoping they're yours." He imagined that his child looked a lot like Caspara, but he wasn't sure if that was good or not.  He just thought that it was expected.

 

"You're right, though Bellus kept trying to say in the beginning that they were going to be the bright blue like Johnny has--"

 

D'avin shook his head.  "I suppose there are worse Jaqobis genes to inherit."

 

Dutch smiled and nodded.

 

He stared at her.  "You okay?"

 

"No."

 

He could tell that this was the truth of it.  Neither of them were really okay. He was definitely better having her there and knowing that she and the baby were safe and doing well, but they needed to complete their mission.  They both needed to see this to the end and he needed to find a way to do it without losing Dutch. "Do you want me to stay?"

 

"Will you?"

 

"You know Johnny would have stayed here and read his comic book to you."

 

Dutch laughed at that.  "I think he prefers to call it a graphic novel."

 

"Whatever."

 

"I don't want Johnny to worry anymore than he already does."

 

"While you were gone, I got to listen to more than my fair share of rants about how you and I need to stop protecting him from things we feel like he needs to be protected from," D'avin told her.  He knew that in the case of some of the things that Johnny was right, but then at the same time he was still his big brother and he was going to protect his little brother just the same. He'd just have to deal with it.

 

"Did you tell him that we have veto power?"

 

"I just sort of spaced out after so long, but I think he realizes it just the same," D'avin said honestly.

 

"So?"

 

"So," D'avin repeated as he stared at her.  He couldn't say no, not to her not about this.  He sucked in a breath and gave a nod. "So, I'll stay...but not in the bed."

 

"You need sleep too."

 

"I'll sleep."

 

"D'av--"

 

"Are you really going to fight me on this or are you going to let me do it?" he asked.  He knew that in her position that he'd argue it too, but he was tired and they both needed some sleep.  "John would probably flip out if he found me in the bed, though he'll probably flip out in general with me being in here."  He looked over at her. "But we can handle it, can't we?"

 

"We can."

 

He nodded and got up and moved around to the other side of the bed, settling down with his back up against the bed, her hands moved through his hair before she placed a kiss on top.  "Sleep," he whispered. He felt he settling in and Lucy dimmed the lights without them saying anything. It took him a moment, but he found a comfortable position and crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes.  Her arm snaked down and her hand took his. He squeezed it lightly without saying anything about it. 

 

"Tell me a story…"

 

Smiling, he kept his eyes shut.  "Aren't you sick of stories?"

 

"You would think so.  That's all Khlyen used to do...but I found myself doing the same thing when I was gone.  Hoping that our little one would somehow remember them."

 

"Why don't you tell me one?"

 

"When the nights were long and the days were deep there lived three warriors who strove to bring peace to the region," Dutch whispered.  He could hear the exhaustion in her words. She kept going anyways. "In order to protect a child not yet born, the warriors were forced to send away one of their own to friends who would keep her safe.  The child was born in secret. This child was special...a noble who knew not of their real home. Filled with stories of a life that they would never have, protected even after its mother had to rejoin the warriors.  The three warriors had to recruit others...they were fighting a force that threatened peace in the region…"

 

She was quiet and D'av waited, but no new words came.  He listened and could hear her steady breathing. She was asleep and he didn't want to wake her, so he tried to focus on her breath and her steady pulse as he held her hand.  Morning would come far too quickly.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  
  



	16. Johnny: Too Real

"You know, have we thought about how we're going to get them to trust us enough to let us even get close to their ships let alone Aneela?" 

 

Johnny stared at his brother for a long moment.  "You don't think I'd present you with a plan--"

 

"A crazy as all hells plan."

 

He gave a nod, almost proud of himself in that moment.  "Yes, a crazy as hells plan...without eventually figuring out that part, right?"

 

"So, what did you come up with?" Dutch asked.

 

"We say that our baby is sick and no one's been able to do anything."  Johnny was pretty damn sure he was even more of a genius in that moment.  "Think about it, there's no way they'd skip basically an offer to look over your child...especially if it's them trying to make it so the Hullen can reproduce."

 

"Slight snag, Johnny," Dutch spoke up.  "Our child isn't here and won't be."

 

"I know."

 

"So, they're not just going to believe us because Dutch is here," D'av pushed.

 

"Remember the school for smart kids from Westerley?  Remember Olin? He had us chasing the hologram? It even tricked him," Johnny said.  "I'll program a holographic baby."

 

"I thought those kids were way smarter than you."

 

Johnny just glared at his brother.  "No."

 

"Don't worry, John, I'll help you," Lucy piped up.

 

"Thanks, Luce."

 

"My pleasure."

 

"You think that'll be good enough to get us on the ship?" Dutch questioned.

 

"They'll say no weapons, but we shouldn't need them as long as we can get to Aneela," Johnny told her.  He was confident that it was going to work. It seemed like a lot, but it was really just three steps. Make the hologram.  Get on the ship. Get Aneela on their side via the memories. 

 

It had to work.

 

"If we had a reference to work off of," Johnny started, but was quickly interrupted by Lucy.

 

"RAC Agent Fancy Lee uploaded footage from the last time your team encountered Aneela, Delle Seyah Kendry, and the child Caspara."

 

"You have footage?" D'av question, obviously surprised by this information.

 

"Yes."

 

"That'll work," Johnny said.  "They probably look alike, plus...babies...they all look weird."  He didn't miss the looks he was getting, but he wasn't going to take it back.  This was going to work. "Leave it to me and Lucy."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"It's so weird."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because it looks so real."

 

"It's supposed to," Johnny said.  

 

"Too real."

 

Johnny sighed.  "Seriously?"

 

"What?"

 

"Just thank me for the awesome work I do, don't complain about it," Johnny told him with a shake of his head. 

 

"It's creepy, okay?"

 

"Okay, okay...don't look at it then."

 

"They're going to want a name," Dutch brought up from behind.

 

"Which means we have to decide on a gender since I've got no other details, but babies all look the same at this age anyways...they wouldn't expect the baby to really look loads different, right?"  He could tell that both Dutch and D'avin seemed uncomfortable, but this was what they had. This was what they needed to do to make it all work. 

 

"Six months."

 

"What?"

 

"That's the age of the child," Dutch said.  It seemed like she was thinking for a moment before she spoke up again.  "Make it a girl, like theirs...maybe it'll up sympathy."

 

Johnny stared at her, he could tell that she was trying to remain detached, but he hated how she sounded in that moment.  He knew Dutch and he could see and hear the pain buried there. He wanted this to all be over...for her...for all of them.  This was a step they had to take though. "Okay," he said finally. "A name then."

 

"Emily?" D'avin suddenly threw out there.

 

"Doesn't sound like a name Dutch would pick," Johnny threw back.  "Emily Yardeen doesn't sound too royal, does it?"

 

D'av goaned.  "Tamsen?"

 

"Are you going through old girlfriend names?" 

 

"No," Dutch spoke up.  "No, it's good. Tamsen."

 

"Do Qreshis believe in middle names?" 

 

"Tamsen Emily Jaqobis Yardeen," Dutch said with a smirk as she looked between them.  

 

"Sounds like a goddamn princess name if I ever heard of one," Johnny said as he worked away.  He and Lucy were creating a false medical file in the records on the ship. Maybe they really didn't need it, but it made it more real.  "Okay, so...how do we contact them?"

 

"Put out a distress call...let me talk," Dutch said.  "She'll come if she knows it's me."

 

"Okay, Lucy open--"

 

"No."

 

"No?" he and D'av asked at the same time.

 

"No, you two need to go.  I need to be alone when I'm doing it.  Make it more believable. It's just an audio message.  It'll give you time to work on the hologram because when Aneela does come, it has to  _ look _ perfect.   _ We all have to be perfect _ ."

 

"This is how we win the war," D'av said.

 

Johnny drew in a deep breath.  "Yeah, no pressure me."

 

"I believe in you, John," Lucy chimed in.

 

"Thanks, Luce."

 

"Please don't screw this up."

 

"Hey!  What happened to the trust?"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	17. Dutch: The Child

The hologram was too perfect and it was hard to keep her feelings bottled up.  Caspara looked so much like the child she'd left behind, but it wasn't a perfect replica.  Johnny's plan had worked so far, Aneela had replied saying that they could meet up and bring the child to her ship.  No weapons, which Dutch wasn't at all surprised about. This would be the first time she'd come anywhere near face to face with Aneela and Delle Seyah in nearly a year...and it was making her feel ill as all she could think about was how manipulated she felt in so many ways.  

 

"You okay?"

 

"No."

 

"Well, at least we've gotten to the honesty part of our friendship."

 

Silence.

 

Johnny sighed.  "I hope you're not mad at me...I know you and D'av seem to be--I don't even know the right words for it.  I'm not trying to be offensive, but--"

 

"I know, John.  It's just harder than I expected."

 

"I want to say something that'll make it better for all three of us, but I know that's not going to happen…  I just want us to be a team again...because the three of us working together on the same plan...we're the best kickass team there is in the Quad."

 

"You're not wrong."

 

Johnny smirked.  "I try."

 

"I just don't know if I can do this right without screwing it all to hells."

 

"You're going to be fine.  You're a badass, remember?"

 

She smirked at that.  "I don't feel like one right now."

 

"You got Aneela to agree to meet us."

 

"So, I can still pull off some acting, that won't be enough."

 

"Maybe not," Johnny said.  "But i need Dutch."

 

"I'm here."

 

"Then we're good."  He sighed. "But we need D'av's head in this...and I can't believe I'm saying this...but you two have got to figure out how to make that work…  I've tip-toed around his broodiness for months now...and I thought he'd be good with you back, but--"

 

"But he's having a hard time."

 

"And he responds way better to you, especially since there's that thing between you two," Johnny said with a vague hand motion.

 

Dutch tilted her head to the side and tried to figure out what the motion was for.  "Are you asking me to sleep with your brother?"

 

"Whoa…  I just said for you guys to figure crap out."  He paused for moment. "Now, I'm not saying don't have sex...but I'm also saying...don't worry about me, because I just want us back...and I want us all on the same page.  So, if you guys have to take things further than talking…"

 

"Wait, are you giving us permission?"

 

"You know what?  I'm just going to walk away," Johnny said with a shake of his head.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"We there yet?"

 

"Another hour."

 

She just watched him as he worked.  D'avin had seemed like he was constantly trying to work on some project since she'd gotten on board, well in between their moments together.  Dutch didn't know if it was merely because he was trying to keep himself busy or if it was merely because this was what he'd brought himself to do to fill time while she'd been away.  When he didn't turn or look at her or say anything else, she moved towards him.

 

"Can you stop for a minute?" she asked gently.

 

D'avin stilled.  

 

"When we get there, it's going to be wrong...and difficult...and--"

 

"I really don't want to talk about it right now."

 

She was thrown off by his semi-harsh tone.  Dutch wondered if maybe this was a bad idea.  They'd had moments since she'd gotten back, but the fact that she'd kept so much from them...maybe that was hurting them more than anything--

 

"I'm sorry," he immediately apologized.  He sighed and then turned to her. "I hadn't meant--"

 

"It's okay," she told him immediately.

 

D'avin got up from the floor where he'd been working and move to her.  "You're right, it's going to be hard--"

 

Her hands moved to his face, her palms holding his cheeks and that alone seemed to silence him.  She leaned in and kissed him, he seemed unsure at first as she pulled back. His hands came up to her waist as their eyes met.  "I keep thinking that in a way...Aneela made our child like she made me…"

 

"Not exactly."

 

"No," she said with a smile.  "Because it's our child." She paused.  "But our child was willed into existence and we had no hand in the making…"

 

"Are you trying to tell me you want to have another child?" he asked in confusion.

 

"No," Dutch said.  "Well, no that's not what I meant...I don't know if another child is in my future."  She kissed him again and this time he kissed back. "All I'm saying...is that I missed you...and that maybe...maybe we should allow ourselves to give in to our desires and let the world fade out around us…"

 

"For an hour?"

 

"Are you going to complain about our time limit?"

 

He grinned suddenly.  "No." He leaned in this time and kissed her.  

 

Dutch honestly didn't want to stop, but she did.  "Perhaps we should move this somewhere less…"

 

"Less in the way of where Johnny might find us?"

 

"Remind me later to tell you about how I'm fairly sure he was trying to tell me to have sex with you...and also somehow giving us permission to do it on the ship with him present," she said as they headed for quarters.

 

"Weird…"

 

"Yeah, really weird…"

 

Though at the same time, she knew that it was a relief for both of them to know that there wasn't going to be any complications within their team because of what they were about to do.  

 

"Have I mentioned how much I missed you?"

 

As they disappeared into her room, she pulled him in for another kiss.  "I've missed you."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"Who should be holding the faux-baby?"

 

"Her name is Tamsen, remember?" D'avin said far too seriously.

 

Dutch just laughed.  Maybe Johnny had been right.  Maybe they had just needed to let themselves go and somehow reset things.  Maybe it was just that having sex had actually made them feel more connected after being so disconnected and apart for so long.  

 

"I think the big question is going to be who can get the closest to Aneela with the needle," Johnny asked as he entered the space with them.  Lucy was doing her thing and they were waiting to couple with the ship. 

 

"I'll do it," Dutch said even though she was unsure about it.  She didn't know if the baby would make her appear less threatening or not.  It was weird, though, as she picked up the emitter that was projecting the far too realistic baby and then grabbed the needle and tucked it inside of her top.  As she stared down at the baby once again, she found herself slightly bouncing unconsciously. There wasn't the weight there, but she felt the need to do it anyways.

 

"Hey, you okay?" came John's quiet voice.

 

She looked up at him and then she felt it.  Tears falling down her face. Dutch had been trying to hold everything down and inside and here she was...unable to control her own feelings.  "Let's just go," she whispered and then looked back down at the holobaby they were calling Tamsen. When the doors opened, they moved together, the boys keeping her in the middle and headed willingly unarmed onto Aneela's ship.  

 

There were guards everywhere and as expected, Aneela wasn't alone when they stepped into where she was waiting...Delle Seyah was also by her side but the child Caspara was nowhere to be seen.  Perhaps it was as a precaution or perhaps they just feared they were there to grab the child and run. It was at that moment that Johnny's programming really took effect as the holographic baby started to cry and fuss.  "Shhh… It's okay, Little One," she whispered as she bounced the baby a bit. She looked towards Aneela, which was still weird...especially now really knowing how they were connected. "It has to be something  _ really _ wrong with her...she's been almost completely unconsolable."

 

"Come with me," Aneela said.  When the three of them started to move a the same time, the guards immediately started to move in.  "Only  _ you _ , Yalena, and the child."

 

"Her name's Tamsen," D'avin said with far more angry emotion that Dutch had been prepared to hear.  "And you're not going anywhere with my daughter without me."

 

Aneela sighed, it seemed like they were killing her with frustration.  "So dramatic… I'm waiting for Johnny Blue Eyes Favorite to start his rant about how he's the uncle and so protective...and blah...blah blah blah."

 

"Actually, I was just going to wait here," Johnny spoke up.  "I want my niece well, so I'm going to stay out of the way."

 

" _ Please _ , Aneela," Dutch tried her best at pleading as the hologram continued to cry.  

 

" _ Fine _ ," Aneela said after a moment.  "Yalena and D'avin can accompany Tamsen to my lab."

 

They moved together, Delle Seyah at Aneela's side as well as guards escorting as they moved through the ship.  The holographic child screamed the whole way and Dutch knew that she was crying, Johnny had done too good of a job and the hologram was tugging at her heart.  This holographic child, Tamsen, might not be hers and D'avin's...but it was triggering memories and all she wanted to do was to hold her own child again.

 

Upon entering the lab, she felt her insides twisting.  The last time she remembered being there was when D'avin had suddenly gone quiet and she'd feared that Aneela had done something awful to him...and the only reason that she'd cooperated with Aneela was to keep them safe.  Now here they were willingly walking into the lion's den and hoping that it would all work out. 

 

"Set her down," Aneela said motioning to the table.

 

This was the tricky part because they could transfer the emitter, but they needed to be careful...and she also needed to get the needle out and ready.  "She's just so upset," Dutch said as she slowly transferred the emitter about in her arms. D'avin moved towards her in an effort to help, they both knew that they needed to be careful.

 

"See Jaqobis, you did get to play daddy in the end," came Delle Seyah's snotty chime from the other side of the room.

 

Dutch could see D'avin's face twist up.  "Don't let her bait you," she whispered. They knew that this was going to be hard, but Delle Seyah being there with her mouth likely made it more difficult.  Carefully, they transferred the emitter to the table but stayed around it, trying their best to be the worried parents who didn't want to move too far.

 

Aneela moved to the other side and that was their chance, their only one, because as soon as the hologram was touched it would all be over.  Dutch grabbed Aneela's arm and jammed the needle into her head. She and D'avin were immediately yanked back as Aneela teetered, Delle Seyah grabbing her.  

 

"What did you do?!" Delle Seyah said and as her hand moved out, the fact that the child was merely a hologram was clear to everyone.

 

Dutch and D'avin fought, though.  In that moment, she didn't think it was going to work.  All she could think was that she was never getting back to her child.  She and D'avin had a child out there that would never knew its parents and that would grow up surrounded by love just the same...maybe raised better than they would have ever been able to do.  

 

"Yala," she heard Aneela whisper.  Her attention turned towards the other woman and Aneela was on her feet again, pushing Delle Seyah away.  "I'm okay. It's okay."

 

Delle Seyah looked beyond pissed, though.  "No, we should have never allowed them--"

 

"I remember," Aneela said and looked from Delle Seyah to her suddenly.  Her eyes looked different and Dutch wasn't sure what to do with that. Maybe Johnny's plan would work...though she wasn't sure she was actually ready for it.  "Let them go," she ordered the guards.

 

"No, wait, what?" 

 

"Shh…" Aneela turned to Delle Seyah as the guards obeyed.  "You don't yet understand, but you shall."

 

"Tell me."

 

Aneela moved towards her and reached out to stroke her cheek.  "He hid you from me...took you from my memories…"

 

"We need your help, Aneela," Dutch said bravely.

 

"Is that why you gave me the memories back?" 

 

"Among other reasons," she said.  "But now you remember me...how I was made…"

 

"The green…  The Lady cannot know--"

 

"If you can pull me from the green, then can you pull others?"

 

Aneela took a step back and blinked, seeming to really take that thought in.  "I--I don't know… It was _ my  _ green…"

 

"Could you pull Khlyen from a memory like you pulled me?" 

 

"Wait, what?" Delle Seyah asked.

 

"Aneela pulled her baby self from a memory in order to make Dutch," D'avin quickly told Delle Seyah.

 

"Her name is Yalena, after our mother," Aneela said.  

 

"Could you do it?  To fight the Lady?" Dutch pushed.

 

"To fight the Hullen, you mean?" Delle Seyah queried.  "And where's your child?"

 

"As far away from this hells as I could send," Dutch said looking to Delle Seyah.  She looked back to Aneela. "You sent me away...thinking Khlyen would look after me...he didn't...not in the way that you had hoped, but my child will be raised with people who will treasure them."

 

"Why do you make it sound like your child will never see you?" Aneela asked.

 

"Because if I'm made from your green, then if you die...I die...and the odds of you dying is high."

 

"Are you going to kill me?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"But you want me to pull Papa from the green?"

 

"He could help us...all of us," Dutch pointed out.  "And wouldn't you like to actually say goodbye?"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	18. D'avin: Leaving is Hard to Do

"You need to come into the green space with me, Yala."

 

"No," D'avin found himself saying in an instant.  They were both looking at him now. "I can't lose you, Dutch."  She moved to him and held his face between her hands and he could see that she was scared.  "Please don't do this…"

 

Dutch just stared at him for a moment.  He could still see the lines on her face where her tears had fallen.  Her voice was quiet, but it wasn't calm. "If things go sideways--"

 

"No, we can choose something--"

 

"No we can't," she whispered.  "All my life I wondered why I was sent away...why I wasn't wanted--"

 

"You were wanted," Aneela said from behind.  "And you were loved, even if you don't remember it."

 

None of what Aneela made him feel any better.  He just didn't want to let her go. His heart was breaking at all the things that could go wrong.  D'avin could handle losing Dutch, just as long as they were there dying together fighting like crazy against the Hullen.  

 

But this...this was different.  

 

"If things go sideways," she whispered again.  "You'll find our child… You and Johnny will take Lucy and fly far away from the Quad…  You'll raise our child and tell all the stories of our adventures and how dearly I loved all of you…"  Dutch kissed him and though he kissed back, holding her close and tight, she eventually pulled away and it made him feel like he was breaking all the more.  "You promise me."

 

"Tap my heart," he barely whispered as he touched his chest.  

 

Dutch turned back to Aneela.  "How dangerous will it be?" 

 

"I pulled you from the green when I was alone," Aneela said.  "But if the Lady finds out…"

 

"So, maybe you should let Kendry take Caspara to my ship, let D'avin and Johnny protect them."

 

"Why do you think they'd be safer there?" Aneela asked with a tilt of her head.  

 

"Because they'll fiercely protect them...and they're not Hullen...they won't be turned by the Lady at all.  The Hullen slaves you have, are you sure you can keep control of them?" Dutch questioned. 

 

Aneela looked towards him now.  "Will you protect  _ both _ Kendry _ and _ Caspara?"

 

"She's my daughter...I would  _ never _ harm her...and I won't hurt Delle Seyah either, she's still her mother...well, I guess one of them," D'avin replied.  

 

"Aneela, you can't possibly be even entertaining this!" Delle Seyah cried out.

 

Aneela went to Delle Seyah and held her at arm's length.  "You must trust me. You take our child and you go with the Jaqobis brothers to their ship.  You stay away until I come for you. Do you understand?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Then go."

 

"I don't trust them."

 

Aneela looked right at him.  "Yala trusts them...so must we."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

He couldn't believe he was doing this.  

 

"Like hells we're leaving without Dutch!" 

 

D'avin felt the same way, but he also knew that this was what they had to do no matter how much they both hated it.  He grabbed his brother and started to haul him in the direction of Lucy. He didn't relent, though, and looked back at Delle Seyah with Caspara who were still following him.  Johnny was fighting him and as much as he wanted to shake his brother and tell him that this was what they had to do, he was afraid that if he stopped...that he wouldn't even be able to convince himself that this was the right thing.  So, he instead he punched Johnny, grabbed him with two hands and hauled him all the way onto Lucy before dropping his little brother inside. 

 

"Lucy, Dutch said to tell you to initiate protocol Freebird," D'avin said and looked back at Johnny who was starting to get to his feet.  Lucy already had the door closed up, so at least Johnny wouldn't be able to run out quickly.

 

"No!" Johnny yelled.  "Lucy, don't!"

 

"I'm sorry, John, but Dutch has instituted a master code," Lucy replied.

 

"Dutch isn't even here!  D'av--"

 

"D'avin has the authorization to institute the protocol," Lucy interrupted.  "I'm sorry, John."

 

Johnny launched himself at him and D'av just let him.  They were away from Delle Seyah and Caspara, so D'avin didn't care what Johnny did to him.  Johnny punched his shoulder and shook him, but as they stared at each other...he saw a bit of the anger melt away in his brother.  "I didn't want to leave her either." They just collapsed next to each other and sat there. It was clear that Lucy was already away from the Hullen ship.  The last time Dutch had used that code was when they'd infiltrated the RAC in order to find Khlyen and she'd sent them away to keep them safe and be able to still Killjoy.

 

"Do you think Lucy's taking us to Westerley?" Johnny asked after a long period of time.  "That she'll show up like last time?"

 

"I honestly have no idea."  He was exhausted and all he wanted was to have those answers, for himself as much as for John.

 

"How long do we wait?" Delle Seyah asked.

 

"I'm not even sure."

 

"Do you think that it's possible that I could lay down with Caspara for a bit?" 

 

D'avin gave a nod and started to get to his feet.  "Do you want me to take her while you lay down?" When it seemed like she was unsure about it, he frowned a bit more.  "I'm not going to go anywhere with her...if I wanted to, we would have already tried."

 

"If she gets fussy, you'll come get me?" 

 

"Of course," he replied.  

 

Delle Seyah placed Caspara in his arms, she still seemed iffy about it but she stepped back and left him with his daughter anyways.  "I know the way to the bunks."

 

"The last one is the guest one," Johnny spoke up.  

 

D'avin watched as she went before looking down at Caspara and bouncing her slightly.  He had mixed feelings about that moment. Looking back up, Delle Seyah had disappeared so he moved back to sit down next to his brother.  "She's beautiful, isn't she?" 

 

"She looks like Dutch."

 

"Yeah, she does.  We sure she's not?"

 

D'avin looked at his brother.  "No," he admitted. "But technically, Aneela and Dutch are basically the same person, right?" 

 

"I'm pretty sure if Zeph was here she'd give us a whole biological nerd spiel about how there's some major difference...besides their personalities and life experiences, of course," Johnny said.  "But Caspara's still your daughter no matter what they say."

 

His heart was truly torn.  He'd wondered for months about Dutch and their child...and thought that maybe if they hadn't been separated that maybe he wouldn't have this feeling...the need to see Caspara and hold her like he was now...that maybe he could accept not being in her life or her father (especially if Aneela and Delle Seyah would only take her off the enemy lines).  As he held her and just took her in all the more, he couldn't even imagine what Dutch had to feel to leave their child with Bellus, Pree, and Gared...especially since it was radio silence and not knowing exactly where they were. 

 

"John, are we okay?" he asked as he looked over to his brother.

 

"You mean about you punching me and dragging me off the ship?  Or the fact that we left Dutch behind?"

 

D'avin sighed.  "Both?"

 

"Yeah, we're okay," Johnny told him.  "But I hate leaving her."

 

"So do I."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  
  
  



	19. Johnny: Really?

"It's been  _ two days _ ."

 

"Dramatic much?  It's been thirty-six hours."

 

"How are you so calm?"

 

"Because I _ have  _ to be," D'avin snapped.

 

Their eyes met and he knew he was being unfair.  Neither one of them had really slept. Delle Seyah and Caspara were the ones that had actually gotten sleep.  Lucy had taken them back to orbit Westerley. It made him want to go down to Old Town and get a drink at the Royale...but Pree wasn't down there...and Dutch wouldn't show up like the last time.  

 

"She's going to show up, right?"

 

"I really hope so."

 

"Do you think we're going to get out of this whole mess okay?"

 

"I want to say yes, but at the same time...we haven't really gotten information on this Lady…" D'avin told him honestly.  

 

Johnny knew that D'av was right.  As much as he wanted to hear that everything was going to be okay, he also wanted to hear the truth.  The truth was exactly what he needed to hear. "You know what I think we might need to do?"

 

"What?" 

 

"Go pick up our nerdy little sister."

 

"I have  _ you _ ."

 

Johnny made a face at his brother.  "Ha! You're so funny!" 

 

"I'm so glad you noticed."

 

It was stupid, but there was something nice about this stupid moment between them.  They hadn't even gotten into the hokk yet, but sometimes they just needed to talk until the stupid came out.  He shook his head, a smile in place. "You know I meant Zeph, right?"

 

"Did we adopt her?"

 

"Pretty sure you and Dutch did when I was gone before."

 

"Zephyr Jaqobis?"

 

"I mean I'm not sure she's down with changing her last name--"

 

D'avin shrugged.  "Not like we tend to use the last name all the time anyways, so will she really care?"

 

"Nah…"  Johnny sucked in a breath.  "The only thing I'm worrying is that we'll leave where Lucy's got us parked to pick up Zeph and we'll miss Dutch."

 

"Assuming that I'll leave without the next protocol," Lucy spoke up.

 

Johnny leaned back in the pilot's chair and sighed.  "Seriously?"

 

"No."

 

He made a face.  "So sassy, Luce."

 

"You love the sass, John."

 

"That is completely...not a lie."  He didn't miss the grin on his brother's face.  Johnny sat up straight at a thought. "Maybe we really shouldn't go get Zeph...maybe we should go ahead and let her come to us."

 

"Are we going to grab Fancy too?"

 

"How thrilled do you think he's going to be to see Delle Seyah or Aneela or possibly pulled from the green Khlyen?"  Johnny was fairly sure that with Khlyen having been the one who made Fancy into Hullen originally that there was a high possibility that he wasn't a fan...or that there might even be a possibility that Fancy might want to be re-Hullenized.  

 

"Maybe we should just wait a little longer before contacting the RAC and Zeph."

 

"We're probably already on their radar," John pointed out.  "Though, I would have thought that Turin would have contacted us by now if he'd noticed Lucy in the neighborhood."

 

"I'm pretty sure he gets off on our Team Awesome Force updates."

 

"Yeah, when we're being awesome," Johnny pointed out.  "We don't have Dutch right now. For all we know, she's dead."

 

"Don't say that.  She's  _ not _ dead."

 

"I know, I'm just saying--"

 

"Well, _ don't _ say it."

 

He stared at D'av.  "Okay," he said quietly.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The beeping was what woke Johnny.  He immediately leaned forward until his hands rested on console.  "Luce, what's going on?"

 

"There's a Hullen ship on my sensors, John," Lucy reported.  "I thought you might want to know."

 

"Dutch?"

 

"I don't know, John, but I hope so."

 

"Sick of listening to D'av and I fight?"

 

"I still do not approve of Delle Seyah being aboard."

 

"Yeah, well she sort of was a package deal with my niece," Johnny said.  "Not that she'll admit that Caspara's actually my niece...but that's a whole other thing."

 

"What can I do, John?"

 

"How long until they're in communications range?"

 

"Two minutes."

 

"Cross your fingers, it's Dutch."

 

"I don't have fingers--"

 

"Okay, okay...it's just a saying, Luce…"

 

"Your sayings are confusing, John."

 

He just sighed.  "You'd think after all of these years that they'd make more sense to you," John said, thinking back to the beginning when it had been just him, Dutch, and Lucy…  Things had been simpler and still complex back then, but...he wouldn't change having D'avin with them. He hadn't been sure in the beginning, but they were a good team and a family.  Even with all the mistakes and screw ups, they'd made it work. 

 

"John, the Hullen ship is hailing us." 

 

"Put it through, Lucy."  He looked up at the screen, his mouth opened and ready to shout for D'av, but the person who appeared caught him off guard.  He'd expected to see Dutch...or Dutch's face in the form of Aneela. That wasn't who was on the other end of the call, though.  "Holy shitballs," John exclaimed. He wasn't sure his feelings in that moment, even though he knew what that meant.

 

It was clear that Johnny's remark and response only irked Khlyen who was on the Hullen ship.  "I promised Yala that I'd contact you, I hadn't expected such...crude response." 

 

"I actually am a little surprised it worked."

 

"Yes, Yala told me that it was your plan," Khlyen said and it was still clear that he wasn't impressed or really thrilled in the least.  "Where's D'avin?"

 

"Where's Dutch?"

 

"Aneela and Yalena are resting," Khlyen informed him.  "The whole process took a lot out of them. Now, if you wouldn't mind...I'd like to talk to the elder Jaqobis."

 

"You do realize I'm not some little kid, right?"

 

"I have alerted D'avin," Lucy chimed in.

 

"Seriously, Lucy?" 

 

"I believe that D'avin is currently in charge with Dutch not present onboard," Lucy replied.

 

"Wait...what?"

 

"He instituted Dutch's master protocol--"

 

"I didn't vote for that!"

 

"Vote for what?" D'avin asked as he entered the cockpit.

 

"Apparently you're in charge of things, per Lucy," Johnny said grumpily.  

 

"Per Dutch, actually," Lucy said.  "Don't be upset, Johnny."

 

"Yeah, you're still Lucy's favorite," D'avin told him before turning to Khlyen.  "So, it worked?"

 

"Yala told me of your reasons behind pulling me from the green space," Khlyen said.  "Though, I don't know if I can actually be of much help. The Lady will stop at nothing, especially now that she knows that Aneela has pulled two from the green."

 

"Aneela is only of concern to me because of her link to Dutch," D'avin said.  

 

"Of course," Khlyen said.  He paused for a moment. "And I've been brought up to date about the two children that have been brought into the world.  Becoming a grandparent was a dream that I imagined was long past."

 

"Caspara is safe and so is Delle Seyah."

 

Johnny wasn't thrilled about this whole thing still.  Khlyen wasn't someone that he'd vote to have around kids, not after what he'd done to Dutch.  No matter how much they'd learned for his reasonings behind it, he just couldn't get over the fact that those things were just not something that you did to someone you saw as a child...as  _ your child _ .

 

"The Lady will want the children as well," Khlyen said.  

  
That wasn't surprising.

 

"Aneela's research should be destroyed, but I am fairly sure that the Lady has been given it every step of the way in my absence," Khlyen continued.  "So, the best step is going to be to keep the children safe...that means pulling your child from hiding."

 

"You do realize I'm the father of two children, right?"

 

"Which I find deeply troubling."

 

D'avin and Johnny sighed and looked at each other before shaking their heads.  "The other child is fine and safe...we don't even know where he or she is," D'avin said.  "If anything, it's something we should do with Caspara so that she's away from the Quad."

 

"It's not just the Quad or even the J we have to worry about," Khlyen told him.  "The Lady's reach stretches much farther."

 

"Look, we can discuss and hash this all out once we're all together," Johnny said sitting up straight in his chair.  "I'm sure Dutch is going to have some things to say about it, probably ones that you're not going to agree with." Khlyen didn't seem to be pleased with him talking, but that wasn't going to keep Johnny from continuing.  "Unless she's really not just napping?"

 

Silence.

 

"Khlyen?" D'avin pushed, anger rising up inside of him.

 

"Yala's connection in the green space was too much, she hasn't woken up...it appears from what Aneela has been able to assess that she has slipped into a coma."

 

Coma.

 

"Hells," John mumbled.  "We've got to get her," he said turning to D'av.  "We've got to get Zeph. Have her looked at by someone who's not Hullen--"

 

"Do you really think that I would want any harm to come to Yala?"

 

Johnny and D'av just exchanged looks before turning back to Khlyen.  

 

"It is possible that she'll wake up very soon from what I understand."

 

"Or it could be days, weeks, months, years?  Never?" Johnny put out there.

 

"All true, but no matter...the Hullen are still a risk to the Quad.  To the children and to Yala," Khlyen reminded. "I am here to help you.  Are you going to trust me enough to allow my help?"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	20. Dutch: Memories and Nightmares

"Zeph's coming."

 

The words, she wasn't sure if they were supposed to be reassuring or not.  All she could think was that because she could hear D'avin, that he was the one that was talking to her, it meant that she was likely back on Lucy with her boys and that things were okay (or as okay as they could be given their situations).  

 

"So, you just have to hold on."

 

She remembered being in the green space with Aneela and them finding Khlyen.  Dutch remembered them running and hiding from the Lady. It was still weird to her, a threat unseen…  There was already so much to fight against, it was exhausting to add another to that list. Worrisome that this would be forever her life...and the Jaqobis brothers' as well.  

 

"Khlyen wants to know where our child is, but I know that keeping the secret is keeping them safe," D'avin said.  "Delle Seyah and Caspara are back on Aneela's ship." He was quiet for a long time. "I know that you and I are okay with fighting this war...with giving our lives to keep the Quad safe from the Hullen, but I won't lie...the entire time we were waiting for you when I actually got to hold Caspara... _ all _ I could think about was a life that you and I could have with our child...and Johnny was there too doing stupid uncle things."

 

Their child.

 

She didn't know if it was important to still keep secrets.  She'd been in the green space. Dutch had no idea how much Aneela and Khlyen (or anyone else) had been able to see into her memories while she'd been in there.  She didn't want D'avin to hear any of the details from someone else. 

 

"So, please...please don't leave me.  Don't leave us. Johnny and I are crap without you.  We had you back for hardly any time and then we about killed each other after leaving you behind," D'av told her.  "Khlyen and Aneela seem to think that this coma is nothing...maybe it is...maybe you'll open your eyes in the morning, all I know is that I  _ want  _ to see your eyes looking up at me again.  

 

Dutch hated that he and Johnny were having such a hard time.  They'd become so close...even if D'av had been still newer to their team...their family they'd made.  Any of them being separated was hard on them all, even if it was for the best of the pair or group or whatever.  She wanted to reach out and take his hand and whisper that it was going to be okay. Instead, all she could do was remain silent and listen...listen to his breathing and the sound that came from him moving at her bedside.

 

"When the nights were long and the days were deep," she heard him begin.  "There lived two brothers who wanted to be anything except trapped and useless.  They separated and lived apart for many years. Both making mistakes and both trying to make it in the world.  One day, the younger brother met a warrior who had no idea that she needed the companionship of the brother. She taught him many things over the year, making him into a warrior...though never changing the brightness of his own heart.  He taught her in turn how to be a better person, how to live in the world as more than a warrior...and even how to love others...to trust them. One day, the two warriors came upon the older brother who was lost, worn, and close to being mad from all he'd been through.  They took him in, they taught him their warrior ways and the way of being in a family that loved you for all of your flaws. Soon, they became three warriors...united in a common goal and with a common heart, pledged to one another as much as they were pledged to protecting the Quad."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Her own laughter filled her own ears as she continued to spin with her child in her arms.  She sang a song that she remembered from her childhood and just nestled into bed with her little one in her arms.  "My Little Star," Dutch gushed as she brushed the tip of her nose against her child's. She was absolutely overjoyed and was in love with that moment.  "You are getting so big! Stop growing," she whispered, only half serious. She squeezed her child and laughed as she received kisses and her face was squeezed by little hands.  "I can't wait until I'm finally able to show you off to your father, I know he's missed so much...but he's taking care of the rest of our family and they're making sure that the world out there is safe for you to grow up in.  He would absolutely be here if he could." She sighed but kept her smile in place. "And your Uncle Johnny…" Holding her child close, she hummed the song and let tears fall. "I miss them," she whispered.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"No!  Don't hurt them!  Please! Stop!" she screamed.  "Johnny! No!"

 

"Dutch!  Dutch, wake up!"

 

She knew in that moment that she wasn't trapped in the green space, but it was a dream but that didn't make it any easier to break free from the nightmare of it all.  The Lady was there, hooded and unseen to Dutch...but still terrifying. Unnatural spiders had taken Johnny from her moments before, killing him...and even though she knew it wasn't real...it felt real in every way to her…  Now they were after D'avin and she felt like she couldn't breathe as she was unable to do anything to help or stop what was happening. 

 

"Dutch!" 

 

No matter how much she just wanted to attach to his voice and come out of it, she couldn't.  Sobbing, she tried to catch her breath as her chest twisted. "No...D'av…" she pushed out with so much more effort than really needed to be necessary.  

 

"Yalena, wake up!" 

 

When her eyes finally opened, he was holding her and she couldn't breathe.  Her chest felt like it was being crushed, her head was spinning, and tears were running down her cheeks.  All she could do was to stare at him and remind herself that he was alive. What had happened, it hadn't had been real, no matter how badly she'd felt the pain of their loss.  

 

"Breathe...okay?  You're safe. Johnny's in bed right now, I can get him if you want," D'av told her and he sounded like he was having a hard time keeping it together.  

 

She reached out and gripped his shirt and shook her head before closing her eyes again and trying to focus on something else...on the happy dream...the memory...that had come before the nightmare as she tried to concentrate on steadying her breathing.  He just held her and was quiet, allowing her to have the time to calm down. When she opened her eyes again, she was calmer, she could breathe, and she found him waiting as he watched her.   "You've never called me Yalena before," she breathed.

 

D'avin blinked for a moment.  "You weren't waking up and--"

 

Placing a finger on his lips to stop him, she just smiled.  "It's fine, D'av."

 

"I can keep to Dutch."  He was quiet for a moment.  "You okay?"

 

Dutch nodded and sat up so that D'avin wasn't holding her anymore, but she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder.  She still liked having him there. "Good dreams...and then bad ones…"

 

"It sounded like there was some kind of great harm coming to me and Johnny."

 

"Great harm is definitely what was happening," Dutch told him.  "And I couldn't do anything to stop it."

 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What if everything that I've kept from you about our child isn't helping keep them safe?" Dutch asked, switching the subject.  "I was in that green space with Aneela and Khlyen...and the Lady. What if just being in there was enough for them to know everything?" 

 

He stared at her for a moment.  "Khlyen would have known everything if that were the case...and he didn't let any of that slip."

 

"Maybe he wouldn't."

 

"Aneela's ship is still right outside," D'avin told her.  "If they knew who our child was...and how to find them...or at least how to start looking, then they'd be gone.  They're not...and Khlyen likes to boost about crap like that."

 

"You're right," she said with a nod.

 

"So, keep the secret."

 

She stared at him, still hating doing so.  "I wish I could share every memory with you...if we weren't so worried about what went into the green and those memories...I'd ask Khlyen--"

 

"It's something we can talk about later," he said gently.  "Once we know that the danger's passed."

 

" _ If  _ it passes."

 

"I should have Zeph come--"

 

"Let her sleep."

 

"You're awake, Dutch...and we went and got Zeph just so we knew that Aneela and Khlyen were telling us the truth about your condition."

 

"Need the biologicals nerd?"

 

"I mean, we probably shouldn't split our nerds up in the first place...though I think Turin was happy to hand her back over."  He was quiet for a moment and then his tone turned semi-serious. "Also, Johnny and I decided that we'd adopted her so now she's Zephyr Jaqobis."

 

Dutch laughed at that.  "Have you told her?"

 

"No."

 

"Why not?"

 

"I mean, there hasn't been the time...and also, you might as well see her face when we actually get around to it."

 

She sat up straight and turned to him.  "What if I wanted to be a Jaqobis too?"

 

"Isn't Jaqobis a bit below being a Yardeen?" D'avin asked.  "I mean, if everything's going to hell...they might need you on Qresh."

 

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head.  "Could you really see me as one of the Nine?"

 

"Or whatever number they end up at," D'avin mumbled.  "And no...unless you were punching one of them out." He shrugged.  "But you know, Johnny would be quick to claim you as a Jaqobis."

 

"Not you?" she asked, trying not feign hurt feelings.

 

"Not in that way, no," D'avin said as he smiled at her.  "Johnny's made it quite clear that he thinks of you as a sister."  He paused for a moment. "I, however, do not."

 

She leaned in and kissed him, making it clear that the two of them were on the same page.  

 

"I believe that Johnny and Zeph require your assistance," Lucy interrupted.

 

"Wait, aren't they sleeping?" D'avin asked as they both got to their feet.  

 

"No, they are in the cargo bay."

 

Dutch didn't care that she was just dressed in underwear and an oversized shirt, she and D'av hurried out of her room and headed for the cargo bay just the same.  Once they were out in the hall, that was when they could actually hear the shouting and screams that were staggering from both Zeph and Johnny...and when they finally came upon them, it was not a scene that Dutch expected to see.  "What the hells?!"

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



	21. D'avin: North Star

"Explain maybe?" 

 

"It...it just exploded," Johnny explained poorly, seemingly still in shock over the whole thing.  

 

D'avin still didn't feel like that was any kind of explanation.  "What were you doing when the exploding happened?"

 

"Zeph?" Dutch prompted.

 

"Are you wearing pants?" Zeph asked.  "Oh and you're awake!"

 

He and Dutch both sighed at the response.  "You're covered in green," D'av pointed out.  "Either you two were being idiots or you both discovered that you're into something kinky and you've been hiding some weird romance between the two of you."

 

"No!" 

 

"Ew," Johnny also complained.

 

"That's what I thought," D'av said.  "So, tell us the stupid thing you did."

 

"And please try to use small, non-complicated words," Dutch requested.  

 

When he glanced over to her quickly, he had seen the exhaustion in her.  D'avin couldn't help but worry, but he knew that right now their focus needed to be on the nerd duo.  Dutch pushed herself...and he got it, completely...but he felt like he needed to worry about her more than his and Johnny's normal level of worry when it came to her.

 

"So, I was experimenting with the green, hoping to maybe figure a way out of protecting us...our memories...from the green," Zeph said.  "And then Johnny zapped it--"

 

"It seemed like a valid attempt at trying  _ something _ ," Johnny chimed in.

 

"You were grasping," Zeph said turning to Johnny before turning back to them.  "But anyways, we kept experimenting...and...well, it got angry and sort of exploded."

 

"I don't understand how that little sample can cover the both of us and so much of the cargo bay, though," Johnny said in clear confusion.

 

"Well, you can think more on it while you two clean up the cargo bay," Dutch said, this time her voice betrayed her being exhausted and drained.

 

Johnny seemed like he was going to argue, but then closed his mouth and just nodded.  "You feeling okay?" he asked after a good minute of silence.

 

"I'm tired...which doesn't seem like it should make sense," Dutch admitted.

 

"We'll be quiet while we clean, right, Zeph?" 

 

"Yeah, yeah...we will," Zeph said quickly looking between Johnny and Dutch.  "And you'll let us know if you're feeling weird...so I can look you over more."

 

Dutch nodded.  "I will." 

 

D'avin could tell that they were both concerned, but was thankful that there wasn't anything bigger made of Dutch being off.  She was exhausted and she'd been through so much, she really just needed a break and time to recover one way or another. "Let's get you back," he whispered and there was no fight.  

 

They made it to Dutch's room when they were interrupted.  "The Hullen ship is hailing us. They are requesting Yalena," Lucy said.

 

"They can wait."

 

"I doubt they _ feel _ like they can," she said as she braced herself on the doorframe of her own room.  She sighed and in the way she held herself, he could tell that she really wasn't up for dealing with Khlyen and Aneela.  The thing that really sucked right now, though, was that they really didn't have the choice. 

 

"I'll talk to them--"

 

"No, it's okay."

 

When she turned to him, their eyes meeting, he could tell that she wasn't.  "Look, I know showing weakness isn't something that either of us do...but you need the rest, Dutch."

 

"Right now, let's just see what they want, okay?" Dutch put out there.  "If it's something that we can wait on. We will. I'll go back and lie down.  Maybe we'll both get some sleep. I'm not the only one who could use it."

 

He gave a nod.

 

"Not on the floor this time."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"I'm not telling you anything about my child."

 

D'avin was doing everything he could to just stand there beside Dutch, his arms crossed over his chest with his mouth screwed shut, trying his damndest to keep quiet.  They were making it difficult. They wanted to know everything that Dutch hadn't told him about their child. Right now, their child was hidden away and safe...they wouldn't endanger it...not for Aneela and Khlyen's curiosity.  

 

Now Khlyen had turned to pleading.  "Yala, I only want to help--"

 

"Help is letting me rest…  I need it."

 

"What do you remember from the green space?" Aneela asked this time, clearly curious.

 

"The Lady...trying to break me, I think."

 

"That was her having limited connection to you," Khlyen said quickly.  "You got to watch her torture and kill the Jaqobis...just wait until she has the full ability to see your entire life...all of your secrets...think about what she'll show you, what she'll do in order to get you to reveal your child."

 

"It won't work--"

 

"How can you be so sure?"

 

"Because my child is hidden...even from me."

 

It was getting old having what felt like the same conversation over and over again.  D'avin decided that enough was enough. Dutch needed the sleep…and so did he. He'd be able to get some rest knowing that she would wake...and that she was okay (for the most part at least).  "Look, this topic isn't up for discussion. We've both made it clear. Right now, Dutch needs her sleep. We need to focus on what we're going to do. Are you going to help us fight the Hullen?"

 

"We'll help you fight the Lady," Khlyen said.  

 

"I have conditions for the Nine," Aneela spoke up.

 

"Neely--"

 

"If they want our help, then they're going to listen," Aneela told him.  "I want to go home, Papa."

 

"Qresh isn't home anymore."

 

"It could be again," Aneela argued.  "It's been too long."

 

"You two sort all of that out," D'avin said before unceremoniously ending the call.  

 

"What do you think she wants with Qresh?" Dutch asked him.

 

D'avin was gentle, but also quick as he scooped her up into his arms...he was quite careful not to spook her (they didn't need to end up on the floor).  "I don't care. It doesn't matter. What matters right now is sleep...and bed."

 

"Bed," she whispered.

 

Moving back to her room once again, he made sure she was settled into bed before he joined her.  His boots and most of his clothing in a pile on one side of the bed. "Don't let them get into your head, okay?" he whispered as he held her.

 

"Just let it all slip away?"

 

"That always sounds so simple."

 

"When I was gone...whenever I'd miss you and Johnny, I'd close my eyes and think of a favorite happy memory...try to live in that moment," Dutch told him.  "Maybe they weren't always so happy or perfect, but they were moments I missed."

 

"Us Killjoying?"

 

"Well, we are good at it."

 

"So did I," D'av admitted.  "Also, us kissing…"

 

"I won't lie, I am fairly sure I got through every single moment with any shred or contentment or happiness with you and Johnny to get me through," she told him.  "I didn't know how to trust someone when I met Johnny...and all I knew was Johnny as family when you came into the picture...and now--now I don't feel like I'm completely myself without you."

 

"Johnny's the heart," D'av said.

 

"And sometimes the brain," Dutch said with a smirk.  "At least when it comes to the tech stuff."

 

He just laughed at that.  "Not at strategy."

 

"No, not that."

 

"We anchor each other in a different way," D'avin said.  "But  _ you _ are my North Star, Dutch.  No matter what--"

 

"Shh...what happened to us not doing feelings?" she teased lightly before pressing a light kiss against his lips.

 

He knew what she was doing...and for a moment D'avin thought about fighting against her diversion, but at the same time he didn't want to go slide down the dark rabbit hole of emotion either.  "You and I...our feelings...they don't always need words."

 

And she kissed him again...and he kissed back and gave up any kind of conversation that involved words.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

  
  



End file.
